dr1819

When one looks at genetic sex, sexual preference, and most importantly, how one thinks and feels about themselves, there really isn't a great way to categorize things, for transgenderism is a continuum. There's a bit of transexualism in a cross-dresser, and a bit of woman in every man.

Where each of us falls is a bit different, and for different reasons, some genetic, some developmental, some conditioning, some environmental.

The important thing is to get to know yourself and simply be who you are. Whether that involves androgyny, dressing in leather, denim, or lace, partnering with same/other/different sex people, or undergoing SRS is immaterial.

There's nothing more insane than trying to be someone your not, or acting in a way that's not you, or hiding who you are.

And that's where the medical and psychological community keep running into a brick wall. Most just don't get it, and can't get past their polarized "girl/boy" mentality.

Thus, they try to overdefine things, create labels, start casting judgements (it's wrong if you do this and you're this, but it's ok if you were that).

Phooey!

As Flo would say, they can kiss my grits!

I simply am who I am. I wear what I like to wear. I do what I like to do. I'm happy with myself. I've friends who accept me for who I am, what I wear, and what I do. As for those in the world who can't, they can talk to Flo.

By the way - if you know yourself, there's no dysphoria!

Dr. Shoe

Indeed. It's the old "labels" thing isn't it? We all need tags to identify other people and yet aren't too keen on accepting a pidgeon hole ourselves...

In my case I have always been me. I call myself a transvestite because it is the closest label that matches what I feel I am but it isn't close enough but it is closer than "freestyler". Someone once said that I am a transvestite from the waist down, but that doesn't do it either because when I wear my heels I'm doing so as a man and if men's stilettos were available I'd be wearing them. It's just that on rare occassions that I like to look like a girl.

__________________
Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

dr1819

You said it, Dr. Shoe. What I wouldn't do to join you in the pub for a pint or two wearing the 3-1/2 heels I'm wearing now while acting like a couple of old rubs!

On a more serious note, one of my better local friends is a displace Brit who works for the local government. Loves reading Chaucer "in the original German" (what a nut!)

Anyway, I showed in the same pair of heels I'm wearing tonight, about five days ago, and you know what he said? "Well if it's the first time, it's the last - let's have a round for the one man who's not afraid to be one!"

Surprised the hell out of me, as I thought he'd expose me to the entire lot!

But he didn't. Instead, he was simply far more open-minded than I thought, and simply telling me that by purchasing a round for my friends and I. Fortunately, no one cared why this Brit was buying a round for the 12 Germans at the bar.

You see, he knows that I'm 100% hetero, because he knows me for who I am. He helped me greatly through my divorce last year. Yet he applauds the fact that I could care less what the world thinks and simply wear whatever the hell I wanted to wear. He's seen and welcomed me when I showed up wearing a skirt. A fat lot of good ribbing I took, but hang it, I took it, and he respected it. I half think that if I asked him to accompany to a Halloween party wearing a skirt he'd do it for the sheer enjoyment of seeing the look on our friends' faces when he arrived.

In truth, he's not of our persuasion. But he's a rare sympathizer, one who understands and accepts, even if he's not one to ever trod around in heels (and yes, I've raised the question - "perhaps in sympathy for you, at a costume party, but in public, on an ordinary day? Hell no!")

Great guy.

Greaty honesty.

One of the better friends I've ever had.

I certainly consider you must the same.

longtllred

I've also heard it explained this way.

A GG can look like a Woman regardless of what she's wearing, even 'diesels' can still be *in most cases* discerned as a Woman. A genetic male, however, doesn't have that advantage; in fact, in most cases (MaleHHwearer's situation notwithstanding) a genetic male is at a decided disadvantage when it comes to looking feminine. Therefore, it seems reasonable that one that wants to appear feminine should and more often than not must go 'ultra-feminine' with all choices of attire, deportment, makeup, etc.

Bottom line, if you feel you can pull off the 'sophisticated femme' look - go for it. For the rest... don't fault us because we go over the top...it's the only way that feels like an effective means to an end.

Have fun, one and all!