"Love without end, Amen." - Page 2

Anita C. · 27th April 2004, 00:20

I accept Sean as he is.

I neither encourage or discourage him from crossdressing. I'm ok with it and he has his parents and my full support.

Dr. Sharon, who is very experienced in this arena, supports our (his parents and mine) actions and oversees our involvement. She is quite pleased with Seans' progress. She also believes that his crossdressing is not just a phase. She belives he will crossdress forever and the sooner he comes to terms with it, the better.

At this point Sean needs to develop where HE is in the gist of things.

What we know is this; Sean was in a very bad way when he came here. He was depressed, withdrawn and potentially suicidal. Now he's happy, comfortable and well adjusted. He accepts himself and his crossdressing.

If he quit crossdressing tomorrow it would be ok with me.

If he continues crossdressing forever, this, too, would be ok.

As for his choice in footwear, this is HIS choice & preference.

Ciao,
Anita C.

Firefox · 27th April 2004, 00:26

I've very little faith in psychiatrists. It's one of those subjects where you can make it up as you go along. I don't regard it as a proper science at all. Therefore Anita's advice is likely to be just as good as the psychiatrist.

In any case, the advice should be, if it feel right and it harms noone then do it, which seems to fall in with how Anita is encouraging him.

JeffM · 27th April 2004, 01:14

Anita what a beautiful person you are.
My very best wishes to Sean and to Sean too.
I hope they have a wonderful life which ever path or paths they decide to follow.
I am sure they will with you around.

Jeff

Anonymous · 27th April 2004, 03:31

Anita, no greater friend can a young man have than a mature, understanding and caring person that is aware of what he's going through.
There is no doubt that he will be able to "sort it all out" with your love, understanding and help. Good for you.

Anita C also said

Quote:

She also believes that his cross dressing is not just a phase. She believes he will crossdress forever and the sooner he comes to terms with it, the better.

There's a whole lot of wisdom in that statement. The quicker we all learn that aspect of our "condition" the better off we'll be. I know that once I figured out that I couldn't quit wearing heels, accepted that fact, and went forward from there, was the point at which my life straightened out and we went forward. Another truth that is vitally important is the point that a true cross dresser or heel wearer should never conceal it from a prospective partner. Be truthful upfront. Give her a chance to accept or reject you on the basis of total truthfulness. It's harmful to wait until after a marriage for a wife to learn that her husband has these proclivities.

JimC · 27th April 2004, 10:50

Heelfan: Anita's doing the right thing by seeking out a profesional and getting the blessing of the parent(s). I'm sure she's smart enough to know not to send Sean to school wearing her ballet boots, etc.

Firefox: My opinion is probably mixed, after being sent to 4 diferent people I'd say it depends on the situation and the person you are talking to.

Jim

Paul (North-East) · 27th April 2004, 12:30

Anita! You're an amazing woman. Sean could not have wished for a more understanding Aunt than yourself. He's such a lucky guy. Just imagine what he may have gone through without your discovery. Some things are mean't to happen.

Love, Paul

Anita C. · 29th April 2004, 18:57

Sean asked me to come with him to his session with Dr. Sharon yesterday. I went along, of course but wondered what was up?

When we arrived, Dr. greated us and said this was a special day and that Sean wanted ME to be there.

Sean stood up and read from a notesheet he had brought along.

"Dear Auntie. The last month has taught me so much. I am on the road to learning who I am and am working on fully accepting this person. I couldn't have done this without you.

When I came to Colorado I was a pretty big mess. I hated who I was and what I was doing. Then you caught me. What could have been the worst day of my life became the first day of the rest of my life.

Everything changed that day. I learned that I wasn't alone and that there were many people who care.

I love my Mom & Dad and understand their divorce. I also understand that the divorce wasn't because of me.

I like coming to Dr. Sharons' because I feel better after we talk.

But I am thankful most of all for a very special person. I person who didn't turn away when this all came out. A person who stood by me and gave me a hand to hold on to at the scariest place in my life.
A person who calmed me down the raging storm in me and told me "This is really no biggie" and smiled at me.

This person accepts me, ALL of me the good and not so good things, too. On the potentially worst day of my life she told me she still loved me, today I want to thank her and tell her I love her too.

I love you Auntie Anita. You really & truely saved my life. You made my world safe & nice again.

Sean & Sean
Your nephew & "Neice". . . "

Again I encourage you to reach out.

Anita C.

shyguy · 29th April 2004, 19:55

This is a very touching story, and Anita is a wonderful person to take the trouble to help someone find themself. I had an Aunt who I confided in about my liking heels, she allowed me to try on full female clothing makeup etc. in the privacy of her home, and there I discovered it was only shoes I was interested in. She like Anita did not judge, kept it secret for me, and helped me find out what my needs were, and was always a help to me.
It takes a special person to help another in that way, and I'm glad Sean is coming to terms with who he/she is. The story could have been so different without a caring non judgemental person around.

ShockQueen · 3rd May 2004, 06:00

Anita..how I wish I had an aunt like you when I was growing up!

That is the coolest thing you could have done for him, and I'm sure he'll appreciate you all his and her days and all that you have done.

You truly give hope to parents out there....now there just needs to be more like you when we come to terms with children who are trying to find their way and to be able to be who they wish to be without any fear of stereotyping, guilt, or shame....to be truly free to be themselves.

My hats off to you, and those who follow in your footsteps.

Dawn HH · 5th May 2004, 07:15

AnitaC:-)

What a fantastic story. Sean was at his lowest ebb in his life when you came home early and found him dressed in your things in your bedroom. To him, being caught was the worst part of his life, but in reality was the best thing to happen to him and probably really saved his life at that point. If you had not come home early that day, Sean probably would not be here today. You litterly saved his life that day and handled the situation in the best way possible under the circumstances. To that point, as far as he was concerned, he could go to no one to discuss the situation---not knowing that his parents suspected his problem and did not persue it at that time. Oh if only I had an aunt Anita like you, but I didn't. To the day my Mom and Dad passed away, they did not know that I was a crossdresser. No one knew as I guess I was just incredibly and extremely lucky to never have been caught even though I had some very close shaves, but was able to undress and stash the clothing quick enough not to be found out. I wasn't into make-up and wigs at that time and this helped make a hasty change much quicker. I have always been a very strong willed person and not a quitter and I suspect that this was what pulled me through all the decades from when I first started until the wife and I first sat down to discuss this malady between us. I also suspect that this strength was also responsibly the reason that I was able to avoid suicide when the thought popped into my mind. The good Lord wasn't done with me at that point and he still isn't done with me yet as I haven't completed his work here on earth as we are all here for a purpose known only to him and not us. Thank goodness you were in the right spot at the right time for sean and it sounds like he/she is turning things around for a very fruitful life in the future. Both Sean the boy and Sean the girl and you Anita have my unbiased gratitude for who you are and my blessings to you all for future fruitful and satisfying lives. Cudos to all involved. Cheers---

Dawn HH :) :D :o