fastfreddy2

Simon, good post.


I can't see how heels can be removed from (inside) "fetish"? High heels have an almost inseparable association with sex... Looking sexy, being sexy.

Could you remove corsets, could you remove latex?

If any of us saw a girl walking down a street wearing a latex dress and a corset with leather over the knee stiletto boots, would be think "great style statement" or "fetish"?

There is an undeniable association with men wearing heels, and them being gay, or into a fetish look. We may not agree, we certainly don't like it, but it's out there. And with re-educating the general public, how are we going to change the perception of any other group if we avoid them?

In my mind at least, 'dressing to play' may be fetishistic, but it's about style. It's completely separate from people who want to beat other people up [SM] and those that might want to humiliate or be humiliated. [Role play.] I think just about everyone puts ANYTHING unusual into the 'fetish' genre, and sadly that seems to include people here. And why not? It's just what we are expected to do?

I'm trying hard to disassociate clothes from sex. Not easy with the years of programming I've had.



On another note .....

Your boots (linked) look similar to my current 'wear anywhere boot' seen here. [I've removed the ankle decoration BTW.] They are (as I keep saying) the MOST comfortable shoe I own. I'm not surprised you wear them at work, I too find them easy to wear all day.

I walked around Cambridge wearing my Fornarina boots earlier this year. Good place for a walk, good place for a Heel meet ...... I remember thinking at the time.

.....

Thighboots2

Fred,

Both shoes in your pictures are fine (the ankle boots in particular) and you waft along quite un-noticed. I too have boots similar to your Forarina, albeit with a meer 3" heel, but I wear them at weekends with jeans and heel fully exposed. The only person who has ever commented to me was my niece who remarked that they were quite high heeled for cowboy boots, but accepted them nevertheless.

You do say there is an undeniable association with men wearing heels and the gay/fetish thing. Do you mean stiletto heels, as I am sure that if you ask anyone to describe a high heeled shoe, they will almost universally describe a 4" pointed toe court with a stiletto heel.

Stiletto heels = sexy, ask any woman. The chunkier the heel the less sexy the shoe despite what the fashionistas try to tell us. It reminds me of when I am flying and your standing in immigration waiting your turn and you see your flight crew walk past. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the stewardess' wearing stiletto heels and dismiss the chunkier ones even if they are the same height.

Will we never learn. We are men not women. Society is not going to change its perception on a man wearing stiletto heels - ever. So if in our readers minds it is stiletto heels or nothing, then they had better get used to nothing.

Its a shame we are discussing this, which is way of the original topic, in this thread as it would be great to read other opinions, but they would be unlikely to open the thread because it is not relevant to them. mods - help?

Simon.

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fastfreddy2

I agree with the remark made in the first paragraph above. Bit defeatist (of us both) but I think it's a reality that needs to be faced.

That said, I'm moderately happy to walk about in stiletto heels after dark. I wear jeans that cover the heels of anything I'm wearing, and usually manage to walk 'in-step' with my escort. It's hard to know it's me wearing the heels from sound alone.


I dunno this debate needs to be moved. It's entirely pertinent to the expectations and opportunity for UK street heelers.

Some months ago, I saw a question posed that went something along the line of; "Do you want to wear heels, or do you want to wear girls shoes?" I want to wear heels. Girls get a better deal on designs, so girls heels are going to be more attractive to me. While I like the idea of wearing 5" stiletto heels while I walk down the street, they're just not practical unless worn on a smooth floor. [Safety to me, and the condition of the heels.]

So what is practical and wearable for street-healing? So far, stiletto's are out. Too prone to damage, and too noisey. Thicker heels last longer, and are more easy to disguise. Not rocket science?


My conclusion, is that just about ANY man can wear 2" - 3" block heels under suitably long trousers, just about anywhere. I saw some men's 'western' style boots in Camden Sunday, and I'm convinced they had 2"+ heels. [Certainly no lower.]

I'm not sure why more of the members here, are not turning up to 'meets', I'm also not sure why the ones who do turn up aren't wearing this sort of shoe or boot? I'm not complaining, I'm just a bit frustrated I suppose, there are not more of us out there wearing heels. Publically, if discreetly.

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Thighboots2

Fred,

Can't really comment on numbers, but why should attendees wear heels just because it is a heel meet, surely its about meeting the faces and personalities being the handle rather than look at what I am brave enough to wear. Also remember the fear of being spotted and associated with a mean wearing high heels however remote a chance it is. You said back in March this year "I do have something to fear if my whole social circle found out about my interest in wearing heels." So why should it be any different for anyone else. But I think this was before you followed my reasoning on the style of heel and having taken to wedges and block heels that you are now wearing heels. You see the prejudices still exist and I quote another of your posts from February "However, I go out most nights, walking quieter streets. If I go out early, I usually go with a 'lady-friend' who enjoys the walks, but doesn't want her friends to meet us, as she'd rather not have to explain what's going on." this time its your walking partner who is afraid of the prejudices of being with a man in stiletto heels.

You have come a long way since you joined the board, and now wear sensible heels all over the place, but do you do this whereever you please? Have you put your past years behind you and now see heels as part of your fashion statement? I believe from your writings that you have. Bravo.

Would more of the members focus on the fashion aspect and less on their desires to wear stiletto heels they would also break free of the mould.

Simon.

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fastfreddy2

A lot of these remarks are out of context with regard to my comments I think, so let me put them back in.


I said I was surprised that more people didn't attend 'meets'. I never mentioned (or suggested) the wearing of HH to be a prerequesite of meeting up? In fact (since you are so familiar with my previous postings) you will know that prior to the meet at Watford which was close to my home town, I wrote I would NOT be wearing heels there, under any circumstances? [Although I did in the evening, as it turned out.] Can't say I was personally over-bothered about being seen with men wearing heels though. No-one wore stiletto's, so that helped.

For my part, I don't expect anyone to meet me in heels nor me meet them wearing them, at least not for the first time anyway. And as a couple of comments in this thread confirm, I actually discouraged one of our group from wearing them publically last time. [Especially since it was their first time out in them.]



As this thread confirms, it wasn't long after the 2008 World Heel Meet, I was out and about in heels during daylight. All of my previous HH wearing was done dressed 'en femme' at night in Clubs, many many years ago. Getting out in daylight wearing heels, was quite an experience. I quickly learned what was 'passable', and have been evangelising about it ever since. [As here.]

During the long dark Winter months, I was able to wear stiletto's out during the evening in neighbouring towns, and sometimes locally. Even under cover of darkness, there was a need to be discreet, as you rightly quoted. Nothing is different, and light evenings have all but stopped my walks out.

I expect the need for discretion is the same for everyone else (for the most part), and it's why the chosen location for the meeting places mean EVERYONE travels to them. London and the anonimity it offers, is good for me as it's only a 30-40 minute journey by car. But I've been all over the Northern Home Counties in heels now. Been 'twigged' a number of times, but no bad experiences .... yet.

I'm enjoying it so much, I tend to evangelise even more!

Of course I'd love to wear heels 24/7 (I think), but it's not realistic. Oddly, I very seldomly wear them at home, and only then, when I'm getting new shoes or boots used to my feet.


So, I don't expect to meet (men) wearing heels, though I hope they do. And I don't expect anyone to prejudice themselves wearing them in their home town, because I won't. Though I have worn the Fornarina's food shopping at the local supermarket.



Now that my comments are less ambiguous ....


So I'm wondering why people from here who are obviously interested in all things heeling, don't meet up more often. I wonder why, given the amount of support a group can provide, more men (who want to wear heels) are not doing it in a group? And if/when they do, why they don't use more 'passable' styles? [Ref our comments above.]

I'm certainly not suggesting anyone else is wrong in what they do, nor that they should be doing something else. I'm just surprised more people are not doing what they want to do? Because it seems to me, it's easily done once you try.


...


.....

Loveshiheels

Thr main reason I went to this meet was to meet other members, try on a few pairs and to wear my new Mary Janes. Didn,t really get to try on any heels. Aldo was a complete was of time. Aldo, only seem to have sizes 5 and 6 on display. I,m a size 9-10. Should I have to ask a sales person to get me a size 9, I don,t think I should have to. I don,t want to be pressurize by buying a pair of heels by having the sale person with me.

As for me wearing a pair of stiletto heels out. I only own stiletto heels at the moment. I don,t wear any heels out side my house and the chances for me to wear heels out in public are very rare. I had the chance to go a mini meet and wear my heels so I did. Had I not wore my stiletto heels out, apart from meeting other members from here, the whole trip would of been a complete of waste of time and it may of put me of from going to other meets.

It was my first time out in heels, but I had no problem with the cobblestones what so ever. I did not trip up, fall over or wobble on my stillettos. My feet did not even hurt at all, all the time I was wearing them. I proved that men can wear heels and still walk very well in them.

I can understand if other members want to wear block or other type of heels and be more discreet, but theres a part of me that want other people to see me wearing heels. I am doing nothing wrong in wearing heels. As I start to wear heels out more and I worn those stiletto a few times out (get a little use out of them) I be more then happy to buy a pair of less discreet heels, but it will be from a shop not from the internet.

Apart from the one bad comment made by some youths I did not notice or hear any bad comments. I felt a little annoyed about the comments made to Fred's lady friend.

There does seem to be a lack of interest with other members on here wanting to meet up. I know of 2 other members who live near me, both wanting to meet up, but not heard anything back from them. I am a very shy bloke, but I wanted to wear heels out and meet other member and I have made the effort to do this.

Thighboots2

Fred,

My apologies if I have caused offense, I was trying - badly - to express myself. The written word is the hardest medium to express yourself sometimes.

In the bit I quote above 1st paragraph, and purely frojm my own perspective, I find it difficult to make space to attend such meets. Weekends and evenings are inevitably out of the question, and doing the shopping thing doesn't interest me. Doesn't leave much. I have been to a coule of meets for the lunchtime social where it was localish to work, and I have met with a couple of the members just for lunch and once for a beer after work in Covent Garden and that was exceedingly pleasant. Its about all I can manage timewise. Maybe this is one of the reasons why so many are unable to make it. I dunno, you would need to ask the question in a different thread I guess.

The 2nd paragraph, well I surmise this is because they are struggling to come to terms with doing something that has been drummed into them as being wrong. As you say, once done, its easy. They need to find that comfort zone that we have already found. I certainly have been there and can empathise with where they are.

LovesHiHeels,

You have my total respect for doing exactly what you wanted to do. If ALL the board members plus all the other men in the world (estimated as 1 in 20) who wear heels discreetly put on their heels and stood up and were counted, then this really would be a non-issue, and society would have to take note.

On the block heels vs stiletto heels thing, I wear heels with at least 1" base, because when I take that final look in teh mirror before leaving the house, I feel I look right - for me. I have tried this test with a pair of stiletto heels the exact same height and I don't like what I see - proportionatly I don't think I look good in stiletto heels, so I refrain from using them outside the home. If society couldn't care less what heels a man wore, I still wouldn't wear them even though I enjoy doing so.

Finally your comments about Aldos and shoe sizes, you sound like we have similar foot sizes, I really don't know where in the UK highstreet you will find shoes on the shelf to fit, other than Evans who specialise in the larger footprint.

Have a good weekend guys.

I am really enjoying this thread.

Simon.

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fastfreddy2

Sounds like you want to be a martyr to the cause? This is of course okay if you are alone, but in a group, surely you do what the group does? Or maybe next time, if you want to show off your heels, we'll follow at a discreet distance?



Simon,

No offence taken sir!

As I've said before, I flatter myself we are very like minded. [Meaning, you are intelligent, and provide well-thought-out posts. I'd like to think I do my bit too. ]

I'm surprisingly local to you (Cambridge) once a month, as I visit family in your area on a Sunday every 3 or 4 weeks. Next Sunday for example, I have been recruited (under duress) to take photographs at a family wedding in a hotel up by you. Hence my 'hint' at a meet.

One or two here have proposed a mid-week, daytime meet. Oxford St and Covent Garden are all reachable on foot, even in heels. While "shopping" (which for me often excludes spending money) may be the UK's top recreational activity, I can understand why you might not enjoy it. That said, it makes for great exercise, especially wandering around huge malls like Milton Keynes. [Though I don't like the place much for anything other than walking.]

If you are up for a natter over a coffee in London, I would be too.


As for those who (as you say) haven't got time to attend a "meet", I'd propose a counter-position to that notion:

No-one on this planet should be so busy doing things they must/have to do, that they can't find <at least> 2 afternoons each year to meet their otherwise 'virtual' friends F-2-F. If they are actually that busy, (as opposed to being poor time-managers), I would seriously recommend a review of their lifestyle and their life expectancy? In a UK Prison, convicted in-mates are entitled to a minimum of 1 hour every 2 weeks for F-2-F visits, and Prisons are expected to provide longer visiting periods than this minimum figure. Even that time equates to a little over 4 off, 6 hour periods each year.


As with all walks of life, I think perhaps there are those who would like to 'do' something adventuous, and thoe who prefer to be a spectator?

....

loswabs

I've been to LFF on a number of occasions, usually wearing stilettoes. In all that time I've not once had an adverse experience. On the contrary, I've been complimented quite a few times on my heels, ability to walk in them and generally how good I look. Yes, LFF is a small market for buying fetish apparel, but it's also usually a good place to meet friends, relax and have a good time.

Having said that, I think Shillibeers is a poor location as everything is so crammed together and the cobbles outside are ankle breakers waiting to do their worst. The filming which was mentioned really does concern me though. They filmed there last year for a piece which was broadcast on I think Channel 4, but people were notified in advance on their web-site and via e-mail. Even so this caused quite a kerfuffle and many regulars didn't go that month. Indeed, we left earlier than usually as dodging a camera is no fun. This time there was no such prior warning and that to me is unforgiveable. Does anyone know who / what was being filmed and when it's likely to be broadcast? Were you warned prior to, or at the point of entry that filimng was being done?

It's a shame you felt like outsiders because one thing I've learn over the last couple of years is that 99.9% of people in the BDSM / fetish scene are friendly and a non-judgemental bunch. Perhaps you were just unlucky and a few idiots got in to "take the piss" out of everyone?

Loveshiheels

We had no warning about any filming that was being done before we got there. As for people taking the piss out of us, I didnt notice any. Just a bit of a piss take of charging £5 to get in and not much going on when you do get in.