dr1819

To put not quite too fine a point on it, I was a diver (springboard) in high school, lettered in it, beat the crap (self-defense) out of the badass in school when he accused me of cheated in a game of no-pads, no-holds-barred football in the snow (he outweighed me by 35 lbs), but no one could tackle me (as I'd bicycled everywhere the past 10 years). He accosted me, I broke his jaw, and since he was the HS ringleader, I was never screwed with again. Wow - amazing what a 119 lb guy can do.

Same thing happened in college, exactly four years hence, but at a fraternity party, although the circumstances were merely my trying to retrieve the BYOB cooler that I'd carried into the establishment earlier. Instead of being helpful, the football player they'd hired as a "security guard" attempted to beat me to a pulp. He did lay three damaging blows on by backside before I a managed to break his jaw.

Folks, it's self defence. If he'd been concentrating, ONE blow from him could have ruined my day, permanently. A broken jaw heals. Ruptured kidneys don't fair so well.

He was fine and back in the game next fall (6 months later). It took me nine months before my right kidney regained normal function. One more hit on his part and I would have lost it.

I'm NOT a "scrapper," having been in just three fights in my 43-year-old life, one on Jr. High, one in College, and one that I lost (I was mugged) in a popular vacation spot.

All I'm saying is be prepared to talk yourself out of fights in the first place (perhaps 40 times), be prepared to run the other times (perhaps 4 times), and be prepared to take care of yourself the rest of the time (just 3 out of 47 times).

Taikwondo, is a wonderful non-agressive martial art which can protect you greatly without you having to learn how to break bricks with your fists. It's ideal is "protecting the attacker," and it's not about overpowering - it's about using the laws of physics to defeat his overpowering attack strategies.

And it works. After studying Aikido for less than a year, I encountered a guy who was a supposed black belt in Taikwondo, last summer, in 2005. Guess what folks, he was dang fast. I definately had a fight on my hands. He was actually upset that I interefered in his "acquisition" of another pilot in his outfit (she thought he was a creep). When he followed her home, I followed him, and when he accosted her, I intercepted and said in my unmistakable martial arts form, "Uh, no, I really don't think you ought to be going there with her."

The usual response with "why not?" and "Who do you think you are?" were replied to with my name and "her friend," and "please leave now."

The next few seconds are confusing, as his attack was with lightening speed, but as I had nothing to loose and everything to impress, I was somehow able to thwart his attacks, after which he asked me, "which martial art do you study?" I replied, "Aikido." He asked what belt I am, and I replied, "No belt, for I'm a beginning student." This really pissed him off, for he launched into another series of attacks, most of which I was able to slightly deflect, reducing broken bones to mere bruises.

He and I stood.

I said, "Take whatever sense of macho you have and go home. You're not going home with her. Neither am I. What's happening here is that you're going home intact, and so am I. If you can't accept that, I'm calling the police, and began punching in the code to the police on the cell phone."

He was a pilot under contract to the US government, didn't want to loose his job, etc., so he held up his hands and conceeded.

The bottom line here, folks, is that it takes a calm head to win a fight, and it certainly helps if you're properly trained. The best training is track, for if you run faster, or for longer than the other guy is willing to chase you, you've won. The next best training is in learning to deflect (not defeat) other means of attack, and for that, I recommend Aikido, as it's perhaps the best out there. This is particularly addressed to those of you who fear hate crimes because you, as a man, choose to wear heels. Always err on the side of caution, never believing your skills will keep you safe, for there are always ways of circumventing martial arts (guns...).

Instead, be smart, be safe, and be conservative. It'll never harm you to train in Aikido, as it's good for the bones without damaging the joints, great for flexibility, and is the one martial art which grants you the greatest liklihood of defending yourself to the best extend in the shortest amount of time.

Caveat - expect to study for a year or more before the results mentioned above are realized. But benefit also holds true - you'll be in much better shape and capable of defending yourself after a year than you were before.

JSpikeheels

...unless a few superegos get out there and set examples of the right kind...

...when I was employed at my former employer-euphemistically known as "Big Blue"(retired 1994)- convention would never have allowed me the freedom to challenge the accepted expectations in a corporate culture...one might say that I had responsibilities to my "stream of income"

...when I had children in the public school system I had responsibilities to them as a parent-to conduct myself in ways that would set examples of "expected" conduct" for them...

...and when I took my wife out in the past for dinner and "what-have-yous" I felt that I had a responsibility to her to find my satisfaction in strictly enjoying the pleasure of seeing HER in spikeheels-living the pleasure through her one might say...sublimating my needs through her...
-----------------------
...so to stay on topic for this thread I will simply say this: only when I had discharged my obligations to Society and Family did I reach a point where the planets aligned and allowed me the windows of opportunity:
* self-employed
* special circumstances with customers have allowed me the chance to give this a try without substantial risk
* children left nest
* wife not opposed to allowing me to test my expectations

...now that I have established a working model for this "experiment" I intend to be as open, upright and forthcoming with anyone and everyone I should meet who shows an interest in what I am attempting to accomplish-namely, showing a boot heel under a pair of clean pressed Wrangler jeans...

...it's not for everyone-as I hope I made clear- responsibilities to others should remain the priority and one still needs a pretty big "set of stones" to even risk the criticism some of which may still come your way...

for most guys this sense of accountability to others takes priority over the sense of "freedom to take risks" and most will never think through the logic to reach the conclusions they would like to reach on a subject like "could I ever wear heels?"

...all of this has taken a lot of life-analysis and priority-setting...growing older has helped settle issues for me as well..but the "dreams of a lifetime" are coming true for me and they can for you...

if you look comfortable, happy and excited with wearing heels that will be the aura others perceive and you will not only turn your own experiences into happy ones but that sense of contentment will inform others to try the adventure for themselves-

..if you believe that this so-called "diversity" means more and more compartmentalizatations into smaller and smaller distinct closed-minded societies within Society as a Whole then the concept of male heeling will never emerge as an acceptable custom...but if individuals believe that their dreams can be realized and they see examples such as men in heels actually living their dreams...


...this is when male heeling has a chance of "taking off"

god luck and happy heeling
JSpikeheels

dr1819

JSpikeHeels, what a wonderful post, filled with a fairly well-balanced series of life experiences. All of us have got to make the choice as to whether we're going to work within society's expectations or blast through them willy-nilly. Ususually the latter is like investing in risky stocks - more return, but more risk.

I think a healthy approach involves evaluating what we're willing to loose, then going no farther, and fostering that which we value the most.

That said, and nothing more...

crotchboots-m

think about it...is high heel wearing all that mainstream with women? go out and count all the women you see in one day and see how many are wearing heels over 2 inches....not that many,and why? because they hurt your feet!...nuff said.

HeelD

Indeed, women can look just as stylish in a pair of low heel shoes (even their low styles are better than the men's styles). There's plenty of heels out there - saw loads yesterday in London. Boots and courts all averaging 3-4 inches - those are decent heels to me. TBH, 5 inch heels aren't really practical for wondering around town all day - I know some of you will argue otherwise. Going out maybe but 3 inches is pretty fine for tottering around town in.

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Heel-D - Freestyling since 2005

DandyDude

I think a good part of that is due to the fact that women can dress as they please without much fear of censure. If heels were completely fully integrated into what is acceptable for men, I've no doubt that it would balance out to where men who do wear heels would vary their heights as women tend to do. There would be a few Laurieheels and JennyHK types who would be a bit more venturesome, Prometheus bless them, but the majority of men would most likely do as women do now, vary. I also think that women have a certain sort of female mafia that sets acceptable female behaviour amongst women, women do tend to be quite hard on each other about attire. I recall several of the former posters discussing how they would get certain epithets thrown their way when they wore heels.

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"To kiss, pretty Saki, thy shoes' pretty tips, is better than kissing another girl's lips." -Omar Khayyam

jmc

Actually well-made, properly-fitted and modest heels do not hurt your feet. Yeah, if you put five or six-inch heels on an un-trained foot, that will hurt. If you put ill-fitting four-inch heels on any foot, they will hurt. But a well-made 3- or 4-inch heeled shoe, well-fitted to the wearer, will not hurt (and will most likely feel good.)

Fit (and moderation) is the key.

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Have a happy time!

Thighboots2

Amen

TB2

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Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn?

dr1819

BINGO!

I'm thrilled to see the last five posts actually agreeing that it doesn't take a 5-inch fetish heel to obtain the high-heeled feeling or look. Whatever feels high to the individual without causing pain or discomfort is high enough.

It's good for you and good for your feet.

Happy heeling!

:academic:

Lindsay

They are probably hard on each other due to the plethora of clothes they have to choose from and wear. Men tend to all dress the same because of less choice, therefore there is less cause to question another males attire.

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Lindsay