Jokes, funny stories or one liners - Page 16

euchrid · 17th July 2008, 09:51

Because she was a stand-up comedian (comedienne) and she died on her a**e...?

gary0618 · 18th July 2008, 22:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by gary0618

How about a Riddle?

A woman buys a new pair of shoes, goes to work, and dies.

How and why did this happen?

And, the answer is......

The woman is the assistant to a circus knife-thrower, who stands in front of a target as knives are thrown around her. The new shoes have higher heels than she normally wears, causing the thrower to misjudge his aim.

thedesigner · 19th July 2008, 00:32

well at least the heels were undamaged....
but i aint gonna wear flats just in case i go to the circus, it's not fair...
i spose the knives got wedged in her....

gary0618 · 20th July 2008, 13:56

Three sisters from Nottingham -- Jill, Marie and Fanny -- were always on the look out for new boy friends. They hung around all local Disco's. However, their dancing skills were hampered by having enormous feet. Jill's were size 8, Marie's size 10, and Fanny's a whopping size 12.

One night Jill and Marie decide to leave Fanny behind, and go to the disco on their own, hoping they might be more successful. Sure enough, within minutes they were dancing withtwo eligible lads. All was going well, until they were walking home as a foursome...

"Hey, I've just noticed something," said one of the lads. "Haven't you two got big feet?"

"Well," said Marie, "if you think they are big, you should see the size of our Fanny's!"

gary0618 · 22nd July 2008, 21:02

Dr Shoe Visits New York City:

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the British tourist was a bit dismayed.

"Good heavens," he said, "what IS this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"

thedesigner · 25th July 2008, 01:30

did you hear about the heelwearing plumber ?
Always wears tap shoes......
His wife isn't sure, she blows hot and cold about it.....

Bubba136 · 25th July 2008, 03:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedesigner

did you hear about the heelwearing plumber ?
Always wears tap shoes......
His wife isn't sure, she blows hot and cold about it.....

I think that was the same guy that told me once that his wife was only the plumber's daughter but she sure could wrench his pipe.

euchrid · 25th July 2008, 19:54

This just has to be a joke, right!?!

http://www.thebrowncorporation.com/

johnieheel · 27th July 2008, 03:31

http://www.impactlab.com/2006/05/11/...hile-standing/ Ever seen one of these?

vector · 27th July 2008, 06:25

I actually saw a similar (but different) device on the view. One of the hosts (this was a long time ago) talked about how empowering it was. I'm watching this thinking to myself, it's only empowering cause you're peeing like a man. Why is that supposed to be so superior?

Funny!