Lost That Lovin' Feeling----Again

JeffB · 9th December 2007, 12:24

I don't know what it, what caused it, nor can I fully explain it, but just like back in the spring, I've lost my interest in wearing heels----again.

Haven't been on an outing since mid-October, haven't even opened the boxes I keep my shoes and boots in since then. Like I said, I don't know what could have caused my desire to wane again, life is good and non-hectic, both at home and at work, but I just can't muster up any interest in wearing my heels, it's like my desire just plain went south out of the clear blue, and the thing is, I'm not at all frustrated about it in the slightest.

Maybe it's the winter solstice, maybe it's too cold, or perhaps I just don't want to go through everything it takes to go on a high heel outing, that's it's simpler and easier to just throw on my sneakers and sloppy clothes and head on out and just be one of the crowd, if that makes any sense. And while I've continued participating here, though on a haphazard basis, that's pretty much the extent of my high heel interest right now.

Perhaps things will change after the holidays, or maybe the switch in my head that turned to the off position will turn itself on tomorrow, or maybe I won't go back to heeling at all, I just don't know. But if, and when things change, you'll all be the first to know.

guy · 9th December 2007, 14:06

That's fine that you don't have the urge to wear heels right now. When you do, you do, but, some night when your not doing anything in particluar, try on a pair and see if you get any special feeling?

Take care,

Guy

shrimper · 9th December 2007, 16:02

JeffB, I think I know what you're talking about. For me its been that as I have come to accept myself more the compulsive urge to wear heels has lessened tremendously. I've noticed that when I'm stressed and feel the need to get away my urges become stronger again. Its like wearing the shoes brings me back to myself.
Does that make any sense to you?

9th December 2007, 16:35

Hi Jeff. I understand what you are going through. About 12 months ago I questioned everything to do with heel wearing following an open and honest discussion with my girlfriend. I felt that it was wrong to wear heels, that this was something a man should not be doing. However, the interest has never swayed and although I no longer get the same feelings that I used to, I have restarted my collection purely because I enjoy the way boots look as an item of fashion and not as a sexual object. I'm still aware that not everyone will accept this and thats why I keep things to myself (except for on here) but when I get the chance to add a gorgeous pair of boots to an outfit I now understand why and that is comforting.

My suggestion would be to just look upon your heel wearing through your eyes only. A forum like this is useful but everyone has their own reasons for being here and if you aren't sure about your own feelings, confusion can set it. From time to time wear a pair of heels whether indoor or out and don't question it, just do it. Don't approach it as if you are doing anything different to the norm and if you feel good within yourself you know you need not worry.

Best of luck

Jez

Bubba136 · 9th December 2007, 18:01

Occasionally, when the the "hunt" or "chase" has been fulfilled and the associated fears conquered, the desire to participate ebbs because "the thrill is gone."

I, too, have conquered my fear of wearing heels in public. Now, although I still wear wear woman's shoes esclusively, my daily activities are carried out wearing footware that is less obviously feminine. That is to say, while the brand might be Nine West, Mootsie Tootsies, or Bandolino, their appearance blurs the gender perceptions upon initial sighting.

I just enjoy wearing womens shoes and the desire is still there. I frequently wear my higher heel pumps and boots to malls and restaurants.

Perhaps a nice pair of Nine West boots with round toes and 1½" heels would serve to keep you "in the mood" ?

Dr. Shoe · 9th December 2007, 19:17

It comes and it goes... just like my dressing...

johnieheel · 9th December 2007, 19:30

JeffB; Don't try to think to much into it. Just let it ride and go on about your every day business as usual. It'll come back when it's ready.

jmc · 9th December 2007, 21:02

I think it has to do with the difficulty of maintaining a passion over a long period of time. At some point the "fever" starts to wane and with it the desire. That's why there are so many "purge and re-stock" threads around here. I have been there too.

JeffB, you have mentioned going through this cycle before and you know, perhaps better than most of us, that it is not permanent. Sounds like you just need to take a break.

Celso999 · 10th December 2007, 17:19

From my experience, it is a question of having conquered the challenges one establishes for himself.

If you, dear friend, have successfully defied society using 5 inches pointy stilletos everywhere, in front of everybody, there's nothing more to do in this area - there's no more "thrill" to it.

That has happened to me, in respect to 3.1/2 in. block heels. My first outings were full of adrenaline. Nowadays I can use them anywhere as just another shoe like all the others. I came to the conclusion that it is only a mind game we play with ourselves.

Best Regards,
Celso

tallguyinheels · 10th December 2007, 21:10

JeffB...

I understand. It's a lot more work to wear heels - emotionally, physically and logistically. Sure I feel great in the heels, walking tall and in posture, but I have to switch my pants - wearing longer ones, and in general, upgrade my style a bit.

w/o heels I can be more relaxed, and go about all my daily business. I have started only switching to "heel wearing mode" when the fancy strikes me, usually shopping or doing mundane errands.

Just a note, my most recent pair of pants is a bit narrower at the bottom so the heels are pretty much apparent at all times - unless I'm standing perfectly still. But, I still receive zero comments, even though many now seem to notice.

One of these days, I'll go with the heels in full view...