How to use the right words to advance our cause.

kneehighs · 17th October 2005, 03:56

I can illustrate this by asking you ,"How do you spell relief?"

For those of you in the U.S., you might answer "R-O-L-A-I-D-S"

And when I ask you think of copiers, what company first comes to mind?

Perhaps, "Xerox."

And when I ask you to think of chocolate and cola, what companies come to mind? Hershey's and Coke by chance? And the "New Generation?" Pepsi?

And WHY do we so readily come up with the same answer? Because these companies at one point in time established ownership of these words in the consumers mind.

Similarly, as street heeling men, I think Firefox hit the nail on the head by coining the phrase, "Fashion Freestyling". The concept of men fashionably appearing as men in heels. It's a unique phrase that to my knowledge no other circle of society is using.

Street heeling men could realistically claim ownership of this phrase. My opinion is that if we continue to patiently propogate use of this phrase on a massive basis (day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, decade after decade) over and over again, it will eventually be accepted by society.

Historically in the U.S., groups with similar minority status, like men in heels, successfully applied such a strategy. Take for example the Second Wave feminists of the 70's. Did you ever see the original Stepford Wives? Words that women used in this movie were also words being used in the real world at the time. Consciousness Raising Group is the first term that comes to mind. Humanity vs. Mankind is another one. The use of these words was largely due to the feminist groups use of the words. Eventually society and even the entertainment sector accepted the words.

Just as you might associate cola with Coke, words have the power to affect peoples perception of reality. I'm going to make a committment to use the phrase "Fashion Freestyling" (unless we come up with a new and better term) as often as I can when speaking with others about men in heels.

Lindsay · 17th October 2005, 09:33

I can think of another phrase:

"Actions speak louder than words."

kneehighs · 17th October 2005, 16:29

Thats a phrase that might sum up communication with ourselves. I agree that the reality of a man in heels has more impact than the idea that words may create.

The focus of the above, however, is communication with others. There is a time and place for everything in life. Actions have their time and so do words in the broader picture of advancing the cause.

So in that context, while the phrase, "actions speak louder than words" may effectively communicate with ourselves the empowering attitude we need, it doesn't really help communicate with others the concept of men appearing as men in heels.

Dr. Shoe · 17th October 2005, 21:44

Empowerment and equality spring to mind as well as freestyle and sartorial individuality.

Lindsay · 18th October 2005, 10:33

Kneehighs,

There are enough phrases and words already that society don't know the meaning of. If you go out in something a little feminine, then you are gay, homosexual, a transvestite, a cross-dresser, a transexual, a she-male, drag artist, etc, all rolled into one. Basically you are everything they are not. Because of that, no word or phrase is going to alter their mind-set, but simply give them another name to call you.

Words are what you would use to describe yourself and what you do. The action is when you actually go outside.

Forget the talk, and do the walk.

lorriette · 18th October 2005, 13:41

like your style lindsay

Dawn HH · 27th October 2005, 04:18

I must go along with what Kneehighs says, but I also must go along with Loriette's thinking too.
Cheers---

Dawn HH

kneehighs · 28th October 2005, 04:02

Glad the forum is back up. Thanks Jeff.

I don't think the two views are necessarily mutually exclusive. This isn't an either/or situation. Either you walk but don’t talk. Or you talk, but don’t walk. Rather it's a both/and. If you walk your talk you add credibility to your cause.

As a collective whole, thinking of men in heels as a group is like comparing us to the parts of the human body. Some members may be mouths, some members may be legs walking their bodies forward with supreme confidence (like Shafted), and some members may be hearts (like DawnHH). Either way, each part of the body has a specific and special function and all parts must work together to help the body operate efficiently. Truth be told, I see the body of men in heels as a Greek Statue, and since I don't want to wait two hundred years for our Greek Masterpiece to be recognized by society, I'll run my mouth as much as I can to speed things up for the whole body. I want to move from crawling, to standing, to walking to running as fast as possible.

Now in the Permission To Heel thread, I mentioned framing as critical to winning. In this thread I stated, “I think to win acceptance in ANY domain, we need to reframe the issue all together. If I tell you ,"don't think of a red stop sign," what do you have to think of to correctly interpret my statement? A red stop sign of course. If we keep societies language and framing about men in heels and just argue against it, we automatically lose because we are re-inforcing their frame. “ The presupposition that society will react negatively assumes their current frame wherein the glass is half empty. One way to create a new frame is to proactively create new language revealing the glass to be half full. This is not a new concept. It is historically proven. Generally, if you control the language, you influence the meaning. And with new meanings come new behaviors that produce a tolerable level of fashion freedom we all seek. Control what seeds we sow, eat the fruit later. Let society control the seeds, and by inaction, we’ll just keep having thistles and thorns and weeds to plow through for many years to come.

Earlier in this thread I mentioned there is a time and a place for everything in life. And in the broader picture of advancing the cause, there is no doubt a time for TALK as a couple of examples will now illustrate:

A man who has been promoted with a company three times in his 20 year career and has consistently received competent work performance ratings wears women’s clothes outside of work, while off the clock. After 20 years at the company, rumors spread that the man is gay. He seeks relief through his manager. When the manager asked why Oiler was concerned with the rumor, Oiler explained that he was transgendered, not gay. Directly from the pages of Oiler v. Winn-Dixie “Miles (the manager) told Oiler that his activity could harm the company image, and therefore the company was asking him to resign. He was told to look for another job.” “Oiler was called to meetings with Winn Dixie managers including Greg Miles, Ronnie Bower, James Jackson and David Hastings on November 4, 1999, November 16, 1999, November 19, 1999, December 20, 1999, and January 5, 2000. At each meeting, Oiler was told to look for another job because he was to be terminated. He was told that his off-work dressing as a woman could harm the company's image with the public.”” Throughout this period, Oiler suffered increasing stress. At the meeting on January 5, 2000, Oiler was terminated.” In U.S. Federal Court, Oiler LOST his case.

A similar story of legally permissible gender expression discrimination recently occurred in Hawaii. Governor Linda Lingle vetoed (in July of 2005!) two civil rights bills that would have added protections based on gender identity and expression to the state's employment discrimination laws--despite passing the bill by large margins in the state legislature too.

In lieu of the above, I’ll reiterate, “There is a time and place for everything in life. Actions have their time and so do words in the broader picture of advancing the cause.” When things like this happen, there is a time for the TALK.

Guess I’ll be walking AND talking.

Dawn HH · 28th October 2005, 04:58

Hear! Hear! Let's hear it for Kneehighs. Very well put and very well said. I certainly couldn't put it into words as well as you did.
Cheers---

Dawn HH

flavio · 28th October 2005, 18:12

Very important point from kneehighs I think.
Talking first display after is aways very important. I have an experience myself and I prevented a huge problem thanks to my wife that said "talk your opinion first to prevent a SHOCK on the people and a bad reaction when seeing you at high heels."

This aplies to people you know and for important places like your job. Not everybody can be as lucky as Jeff B. He's a wonderful example of style and reception at the job, but it's not what happens in mostly places and can fail to someone.

Here in Brazil, people with tatoos or women in exagerated earrings or pierces can have problems to find a job.

Heels for all!
Flavio.