Losing desire for heels?

sscotty727 · 24th July 2004, 07:06

All,

As you all probably read, I have stopped wearing heels in my daily routine because of my desire to lose weight. Since I have stopped wearing heels, I have been doing alot more walking at work (fortunately I am in a building that enables me to do alot of walking inside). I do wear a woman's slide shoe (kinda looks like a tennis shoe with a 1.5 inch platform on front, maybe a 2.5 or 3 inch heel on back, but definitely NOT a high heel). I now find myself feeling I don't really want to go back to high heels at work, it would interfere with my walking/exercise during work. I also haven't been wearing heels on the weekends at all,I've been wearing my sandals (which are also women's with a SLIGHT slant) which I posted in another thread. Maybe it's more the weather (it is alot harder to wear heels with shorts) but I know I will definitely never go back to wearing heels at work nor as much as I used to. Maybe the occasional outting or mall shopping, but nothing near what I used to, I have to confess, my desire to wear them is fading, and it isn't me trying to stop it either. I still have a major passion for heels and LOVE to see women wearing them, and I am sure I will keep and wear my heels from time to time as well, but they just don't seem to be that big of a part of my life as they used to be. Anyone else here go through similar "changes"?

Scotty

Nicole · 24th July 2004, 08:00

Not exactly- but certainly the desire ebbs and flows. There are a number of reasons for this:
For example, if I've done it a lot lately, then the desire is sated.
If my wife is around, which she usually is, the desire is relatively dormant most of the time- this is because the wife does not approve, and I'd rather have a happy wife.
Even when my wife goes back to her parents for a few days, I do not always feel like indulging. This is partly because my heels are buried in a trunk at the back of my closet (she knows they are there) which means that unearthing them is time-consuming and difficult.
Also, I may have a lot going on at school, in which case it's not worth the effort.
Ultimately, most of the time I can live with the desire (which is always there but not debilitatingly so), but not indefinitely.
Good luck with your weight loss regime.

Heelfan · 24th July 2004, 10:07

Hello Scotty! I agree with Nicole. My own heel-wearing uges have ebbed and flowed too. Although I have said often enough on these forums that I've been street-heeling for 47 years (from aged 12 to 59 and counting), it has not always been at the same intensive level by any means. I've gone through "Not terribly interested" phases and even the odd "Let's stop all this" phase when I've had a major clear-out of dozens of pairs of heels at a time. However, for me the underlying bug (or whatever you call it) has never vanished for good, and whenever it re-emerges, the flinging myself into major street-heeling again is always all the more exciting and enjoyable. Ever since discovering these forums, I've been going at it with the greatest enthusiasm I've ever had, and it's really great!

As far as exercise goes, heels inhibit the length of one's stride and one's walking speed, and it's extremely difficult to reach the all-important aerobic level of heart/lung function. But in any case, it's not wandering around at work which gives the best exercise each day, it's going for a good jog or work-out each day for 20 to 60 minutes which can easily by done in trainers without prevent any of us from enjoying being in heels for other parts of the day.

In your case Scotty, it will be interesting for you and us to see in time whether your current swing from heelwearing proves to be a permanent
disassociation or whether it proves to be a temporary downward swing of the sort that Nicole and I have periodically experienced.

Anyway, good luck, and there's no point in slogging on with heels if you're not genuinely enjoying it. Like you, for me the best heely experiences of all have always remained seeing a stunning woman wearing them to maximumum effect! I'm with you!

Let us know how it goes!

Cheerfully yours, Heelfan

shyguy · 24th July 2004, 11:17

My desire for heels ebbs and flows too. Sometimes I have no heel desires for months, then other times it is almost overwhelming. As my wife dislikes it too, I have to keep her opinions in mind too, and we have compromised (see my other posts) so that I can wear heels when I feel the need.
I have tried to forget it and move on, but the desire to wear heels (or for me just womens shoes in general) returns, so I stopped fighting and witht the help of this forum and its members learnt to accept its part of who I am.
I agree with HF it will be interesting to see if your heel desires disappear totally, But whatever is best for you, go with it and accept it is who you are.

hoverfly · 24th July 2004, 14:45

It's a known fact that wearing high heels burns more calories when walking around. But depending on the environment wearing hh could be more of a hindrance than a help.

I my self find my desire to wear hh comes and goes as well. But one thing is for sure, the addiction will never go away. So if any ones decides to get rid of them now, I guarantee it latter you are going to regret it. So keep a few pairs of you favorite heels tucked away.

larry · 24th July 2004, 15:04

Been there, Done that, Please dont throw any shoes away. Youll only regret it later....Larry.

Bubba136 · 24th July 2004, 15:30

This is an interesting thread. It speaks volumes about the importance heels occupy in the lives of the men that wear them. Motivation, drive, desire, psychological stimulation (sex), the need for secrecy and apprehension that close friends and family will "discover" your propensity for women's shoes.

While I discovered at a very early age (16, 17) that I could never stop wearing heels and that it was a big part of my psychological make-up, I found that I could control my desires to correspond with the situation in which I was living. For instance, when my children were growing up I confined my wearing activities to the times when they weren't around (keeping my agreement with my wife not to wear my heel around the children). Also, suppressing the urge during the times when I was away from home on business, existing in an exclusively male (military) environment. Now that my children are grown, married and moved away and we're mostly alone at home, I wear heels 85% of the time, and women's shoes 100% of the time.

I love to wear high heels. I like everything about them. I would wear nothing but heels if circumstances permitted. However, I too have found that since my wearing heels has become unrestricted and normal, l no longer spend time looking for opportunities to wear them and a lot less time conscientiously thinking about them. Has my desire ever become less? No. But, I am no longer anxious to wear them.

dressboots · 24th July 2004, 15:37

My desire too does ebb and flow.

Like many posters I fully agree do not throw anything away when you are on an ebb. I regret doing that once.

As boots are my fashion of choice the summer months generally see an ebb in my interest.

Having found this forum in May of this year I am at an odd place where my enthusiasm is peaking but the enviroment is not cooperative. Tried boots the other day and felt like I was going to melt, even inside my airconditioned house. I can't wait for the new fall fashion line ups to appear however.

What for me is "walking" is for most others, trotting or running. I do a ton of it on my job. My wife jokes that taking the dog for a walk is more like taking the dog for trot. Definitely have to slow my gait when in heels. There are times when that is fine. Most women* I know do not wear heels all the time, so it seems only natural for men to go this route as well.

*As I do not know any men who wear high heels I have to make my conclusions from those who do.

sscotty727 · 24th July 2004, 17:41

All,

I appreciate your comments. Like I said, it's not a guilt "I need to stop wearing these" that I am going through, more like "I just don't feel like wearing them". I will admit, I wear my pumps on the drive home, but it feels like I am doing it more out of habbit than desire. Maybe I will stop doing that this week to see how it feels.

Also, I don't just plod around at work, I take quick 20-30 minute walks at a fast past throughout the day. I usually have worked up a good sweat by the time I get back to my desk. The pedometer I have logs anything over 60 steps per minute OR sustained walking over more than 10 mins as "aerobic". I tend to do atleast 45-60 mins over a day period. Heels would definitely inhibit that ability since I couldn't walk as fast (or up and down as many steps, I don't just stay on 1 floor). To get the same amount of walking, I would walk longer and be away from my desk more and possibly cause more grief for me at work.

Anyway, my desire now to keep walking at work has overtaken my desire to wear heels at work which is why I don't want to wear them there anymore. As I said, the weekend/evenings thing could be just an "ebb and flow" and the weather (hard to descretely wear heels in shorts which I wear all summer long).

Thanks again for the posts, as I said, I don't plan on throwing the heels away but I will probably wean out compulsive buys and just keep the ones I really like!

Scotty

docs41 · 24th July 2004, 22:19

My desire to wear women's shoes also is cyclical, but it is always there. I must wear them at least 90% of the time now so I will never stop. On the contrary, I'll probably go to 100% some day! :)