Hi, BobHH.
I think something like this might be fun:
http://www.duganbrothers.com/images/...-TO-D-Boot.jpg
But only under a trenchcoat!
Seriously, though, I agree with your differentiation between fetish and mainstream. To me, "mainstream" means the kind of heels you'd normal see
most women wearing, either to work or around town. Now, "out on the town" is a bit different, especially in Vegas, where you either find sneakers, grandma shoes, or 4"+ heels.
I really enjoy seeing a pair of beautiful heels like these:
http://www.italianheels.com/database...ges/1071-b.jpg
But on a woman! To me, it's just not asthetically pleasing to see them on a man.
I believe men should be able to wear heels, too, even if it's not asthetically pleasing. But "aesthetically pleasing" is like beauty - it's in the eye of the beholder.
Nevertheless, not only am I not into shock value, I am very much behind the idea of forwarding the concept of people being accepted as people regardless of what they wear. Just as when women first began wearing pants they had to limit themselves to tastefully-designed slacks (and usually heels) that clearly said "yes, these are pants, but they're feminine - I'm not trying to be masculine," we face similar hurdles. Therefore, whenever I appear in public wearing heels, I like to wear heels that say, "yes, these are heels, but they're not out of place on this individual," and would be considered to be aesthetically pleasing to the majority of the population.
If, when Katherine Hepburn began wearing pants, she'd chosen blown-out jeans instead of designer slacks, I strongly doubt her "fashion statement" would have helped the cause of women wearing pants. In fact, the public backlash would probably have been strong enough to seriously retard bifurcated leggings for women.
In a similar fashion, if we're ever to get the general public to buy off on the idea of men wearing women's fashions, it'll have to be a gradual effort, beginning with tasteful, generally-accepted departures that aren't too far over the boundary of what most consider "normal."
With that in mind, whenever I wear heels in public (or in private, since I wear the same ones for comfort as well as fashion) I avoid anything that looks "fetishy" and stick with "elegant classics." To me, these would include women's flat toe-thong or medium-width strappy sandals, 2" to 3-1/2" chunk or taper-heeled clogs and loafers, and boots with moderately slim heels up to about 4".
For example, here's one I'd love to see in larger sizes!
http://www.zappos.com/images/w/wDonald221/43941-p.jpg
Then again, this is me and my viewpoint about how to get the public to accept us - I'm sure others' opinions would differ!