shortskip

...i'm sitting allone as so many times .. sitting and thinking..
hearing led zeppelin stairway to heaven...wearing my clothes.. nothing will be changed...i think, i can do, what i want....the earth turns round and also my foulish life....sorry about my destructive words...

To feel always in the same deep hole is not very good... but in the past i've ever passed the way away of this stupid hole...the hole of darkness in my brain..
well... i can give you some pics from my legs... but what will this change....? i think...nothing.

Sorry about my thoughts

shortskip

tightsnheels

Oh, how many times have I been in that same place.
The fact that you are sharing your thoughts is a good sign though. It means you are not beyond hope to yourself. The mind has enormous power for good and for bad, but it's amazing how it likes to torture it's self.
I have found if beeing all dressed up with nowhere to go is bringing me down, it helps to find somewhere safe I can go even slightly dressed up and visit it. Sometimes just going for a drive in the car brings me back to the light of hopeful joy. Most people don't notice us, don't care about what we wear or are too kind to say anything. In my part of the world I have two large chain bookstores and an entire area of the city that are safe for me in multiple modes of dress. (All be it I don't push it too far without support from my family.) Group outings can also be fun plus there is safty in numbers. If you aren't comfortable around your local town try somewhere close where no one you know will be. Just check it out ahead of time for safety and remember to stay away from the places with a more lower class clientel.
Sorry if my spelling isn't too good, even those of us for who English is a first language don't always get it right.
T&H

xaphod

Hi 'Skip,

If you are different from everybody else, life will be difficult. Feeling unhappy is a problem that this brings.

Many famous people have the same problem. Winston Churchill called his 'the black dog'. I call mine 'the glums'.

When I get 'the glums' the house does not get cleaned. I stop doing my own cooking and buy far too many takeaways. I also watch FAR too much television (thankfully, I don't feel the need to drink too much alcohol, because that makes me feel worse ! )

Eventually the glums pass, I start working in the garden, taking more exercise and going out with people more.

I would not advise going to the doctor to get anti-depressant pills because I think that they stop you working out your problems naturally. I am now 51 years old, so I know how to overcome my problems. It just takes time, that's all.


Xa

shrimper

Hey Shortskip. I can appreciate where you're at right now and I just want you to know that it doesn't have to be this way.
It has taken me a long time to come to accept myself as I am and as I have I have come to know many who have been aware of me and my preferences all along and who also accept me as I am. I've also learned that those who rejected me don't matter.
Places like this have been a really big help in that process because I had never been able to discuss my feelings and preferences face-to-face with another man. I was worried about the assumptions that I might be gay or submissive or just a target for abuse. Those fears have proven to be unfounded but it takes time for that all to come about.
Hang in there buddy.

shortskip

many thanks to you.

I know about this facts and ok I must go my way by the time and step for step... heeling and thinking.

You know there is always a light at the end of a tunnel equal how long the way is.
So I hope I can do it as well as I think

have a nice day
shortskip