thedesigner

Went to the doctors yesterday (well it's tomorrow now, but who cares)...
I sed, "doc, I'm goin a bit mutton"
Doc sez, " a bit mutton?"
He had this habit of repeating what you said...
I sez, "yes doc, a bit mutton jeff, you know."
"oh," he sez, "deaf, should i speak up"
"I dont care if you do falsetto mate" , i sez, "so long as i can hear what you're saying.."
Doc sez, " I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PROBLEM IS"
Don' know why he shouted, i can lipread anyway...
"YOU DONT EAT ENOUGH FISH" he shouted.
....... deafened me, but thats his style.
"What do you mean doc," i replied.
"YOU'RE A BIT HARD OF HERRING" he replied....
Likes to spin me a line, my doc...
"what about eels," i said.
"oh i never thought you'd notice them, " doc said, pulling up his trouser leg, " got them in a sale!"
"But will eels make me hear better," I asked, whilst admiring his fashion sense.
"no," he replied, " but just get your prescription made up in Boots...."

And true to life, it was just like the doctor ordered. Since wearing heels, i can hear a higher octave....