lorriette

FIRST NIGHT, Next day

"you're not mad at me mum?". "Not in the way you mean it, no. I am angry with you our Di, encouraging him without telling me, and for the other night"."Look, i'm sorry mum, that was the first time he's been out like that, honestly, and, well, I didn't feel I could betray him by telling. I can see now that I should have done something". "That's right mum, last night was my first time in all her clothes and with make-up and that. I normally only wore her shoes, and sometimes have borrowed tights and a dress". "I thought some of my things had been moved".
"Enough of that, the thing is, where do we go from here?. It's not that I mind your playing at being a girl,and as you have done it again today, I assume you want to continue?, but there are all sorts of things to consider". "I suppose dad will stop me, and give me a hidding for being a whimp". "NO he won't, and anyway, he probably wouldn't find out. He's not comming back here to live. No, I was thinking more about school, your friends, and the neighbours". "Oh, that's easy mum, I've only got one more term at school, they wouldn't notice me missing, and maybe I could be schooled at home. I haven't any friends I bother with, and we don't see that much of the neighbours either. I can't explain, but i've always wanted to be a girl, that's why I put up with Di tormenting me, I want to be like her, with her. I can get work to pay for things like she does, I won't be no trouble and Di said she'd me and that". "What, encouraging you to drink and smoke is her idea of helping you?". "Aw, come on mum, it wasn't like that, he looked so good, he just had to go out and get the feel, experience the buzz. Anyway, lots of fifteen yearolds drink and smoke a bit, and not all of them are bad kids and hooligans. I've been doing it for a couple of years now, yet you've not noticed, and I have not got into trouble". "Well Di, I didn't know, and am quite horrified that you've been doing these things, that I didn't notice, and I suppose other things too?".
"Let's not go there a moment, can Bobbie remain living as a girl, and if so, how are we going to go about it?" "I suppose the answer is yes, Calm Down you two, but Bobbie will have to finish this term, as a boy, no make-up, hair pulled back into a ponytail, no nail varnish or jewellry, no girls clothes what-so-ever, understand?(nods). Then I shall have to find out what we can do for next term. I take it that despite your good grades, you don't want to stay on for A levels and then college, and that would be a shame. I'd better make us an appointment for the doctor too, there must be someone we need to see".
"It's not that I don't want to go to college, but I want to be a girl, a proper girl, and I don't think I would be allowed. I'm sorry mum, but I'd rather do an ordinary job as a woman, than have a career as a man, I don't want to be a boy, a man. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I've felt like this for years. Last night I put on a show of reluctance for Di, but deep down was so thrilled at getting to see how I wanted to be.I was scarred of being found out, but secretly overjoyed at being helped over the guilt hurdle. Now i've been there, there's no way I want to go back. I'm really sorry that you've lost your son, mum, but it has already happened. Don't blame Di, this would have happened sometime, and despite the fact we were naughty, we came to no harm, she made sure of it".
That brought tears to Julies eyes, and so to hide it, she suggested the girls come inside and prepare tea, whilst she went off to think things out, consider the future.

__________________
feel the mood