I guess you did go in a bit at the deep end even if you did know her. If you said something a bit more innocent like "do they hurt your feet" or do they "take practice to wear" you can judge from the response if you can take it further.
I don't think men and women are too much different how they handle what could be a personal question. I remeber some guy at school asked me how often I wanked like straight out. I think I told him to mind his own business, but I remember another time when I discussed masterbation for ages with a guy in my form because he was polite and a bit nervous about it, but also willing to share his experiences. Like many things, how you approach it is the key. |