My outings "A maturity of WEARING HEELS in public"
I wanted to write this since long time ago but haven't had enough experience in going out in public as starting to have at this time, here are my short stories......hope you find them courageous since that was the only word i can find for all of them, liberating, sensual and fun will come in second place.
On October 30th 2008,
Halloween night, in many threads that were in TV threads not active anymore i had my first experience in public, I call it "in public" because there were other people around me and for the first time in my life someone else besides me and my mirror, were able to see me in heels and in a complete outfit.
How it happened?
Days before Halloween night, i was sent to a biz trip and exactly on Halloween night i will be back to Austin Texas were I spent all my college and many many years and i have many friends there as well, I was planning on seeing some of my old palls but at the same time don't miss the great parade and great party at the famous sixth street in downtown, since
Austin is very open minded and liberal i felt it is time to do it now since there most be many people that wont be expecting me to be in town.
Then on Halloween night i found my self dressing up and selecting among 6 pairs of boot to wear , my choices were between
a black patent 5inch high boot,
a pair of red 6in w platform high boot,
a 4inch leather knee high boot,
a pair of beige 3.5inch mini boots in leather,
a pair of white high boot with straps all over in a 5inch h heel,
and finally a pair of brown crock leather 5 inch needle heel very pointed knee h boots.
i selected the black patent high boots because were larger and i could spent much more time without my toes hurting, but in a way my choice was not the best one, because is a 5.5 inch high actually and also the cushion of the insoles were not very good, so i spent the rest of the week with a big big pain a a callus on both feet.
the night was amazing, everybody at the bar were so interested in how i could walk with those shoes and even girls that normally are more used to me to wear heels were very impressed and one cute girls asked me to let her wear my boots for a while, it was fun, he could walk on them since she wears a 6 and me was wearing a 12 ...funny
I had to take a taxi for going to downtown since normally there is no parking space and normally i was specting to Finnish very drunk, which it happens, ...
when the taxi drop me some block away from the club i had to walk with my outfit and everybody stared at me like what is this guy impersonating? well it was Halloween, so i was playing all around with the people that wanted to take pics and make jokes etc, it was great,
the moment i went inside the club i was very unsure i saw many guys wearing heels as well so i felt more confident as these folks were arriving to the place,
the only thing that, made feel awkward was that there were some guys that were attracted to me and my shoes, and me being straight and not knowing how to handle a misunderstanding like that without being rude or unfriendly, i did my best in being friendly and it worked but i feel that there were guys thinking that i gave them game, anyway, it was a great experience.
Another person attracted to my heels was a cute Japanese girls that just wanted to take a pic with me, and asked me q such as how long did i being wearing hh and telling me that she finds very sexy on a guy to wear heels from time to time, she knew i am straight she told me it shows, which it doesn't has to do with the fact of wearing or not wearing but with the fact that i was completely dressed in femme and w the highest heels ever in that club.
MAY09
ANOTHER time "HEELING IN SEX SHOPS":
I have been planning to go outin heels since October 08, and it happened last month, here in NYC, i went to a sex shop dressed as an executive woman but wearing a 5inch high heel leather knee boot the first time for maybe 20 minutes, i returned the week after and i wear a pair of 4.5inch high black patent pointy pumps, i think that that day i was dressed too much for the customers that were coming in to the shop, because my skirt was too short and the hose was too shiny. I felt that one guy was following me and wanted to start some kind of conversation, i freaked out and left.
the third time was one week after, i dressed with a less short skirt and wear my pointy 5inch knee high black leather boots, it was nice i spent like an hour until my feet started to ask me to sit, i just left.
The fourth time was also great it happened the day after and i realized that going out in heels is an amazing experience, is difficult and you cannot predict what will happen or what the people are going to tell you, or their reaction etc,
August 2009
WALKING IN THE COMMERCIAL CENTERS AT NIGHT
I had being going very often dressed in fem me and wearing my stilettos all around the suburbs and wanted to find a place where i can walk without people around which is very difficult to find, and when i find one i freak out and decide to leave,
Last night i drove by a commercial center which was closed and there were some cars passing around and i decided to park for some minutes meanwhile i was eating a burger to go, I studied the behavior of the street and how the people that pass by react at people walking on the sidewalk, but in the commercial center nobody stops neither goes in because is closed, so i decided to go out and do some turns, i walk for around 15 min in one that the reflectors were so high and nobody saw me, but i saw cars driving by without noticing me,
then i went to other sites, the number of commercial centers i walk were 5 yesterday night, it was an accomplishment, i felt great, i couldn't sleep, because i was thinking what to wear the next time. of course my pumps were the best walker of last nigh, they are very confi and the 4.5 in high heel is easy to to walk, or run if i need to leave fast.
LESSON 2
The more i walk in open spaces without people around the more i get stimulated to walk with people around.
I don't know but at the same i don't really dare to let others seeing me in heels but at the same time i feel i want to expose in public and know reactions. Maybe next time i will really go to a public area and walk by hoping nobody that i know will be there and recognize me.
Some Experiences
Last year i had these experiences and shared them on a thread but unfortunately it was deleted since maybe is detouring the objective of our community, but I thing is something to share also indeed what i am posting is my development as a heeler.
hello to all
it has been a long time i posted something, the reason was that i got discouraged on trying to go out and about and the heeling started to be boring inside my home, so i needed to do something.
first i started on July to September to go out driving in heels and from time to time, parking in a lonely place and go for a quick walk, i started to do that mostly at nights, and the emotions were too strong and i have to say that i got fun doing that, sometimes i got to take long walks in the street inside a commercial center always being close to my car in case somebody approach, i cant remember how many times i got to get in the car quickly product of my fear of being seen,
after i started to find more quiet and lonely places where to walk i felt there was something missing, besides just wearing my nylons and my 5 inch black leather boots, i felt i needed to jump to another level, 'public' meaning being exposed to the people, for that i needed to hide my identity , so i started to go out dressed completely as a woman, but there was a problem, at the reflection of the big windows of the locals i found my self without the proper feminine shape, which was like a red light for the people to stare at me or to try to id the tv that is walking over there etc,
i wanted to use my black pumps with pantyhose and a short dress, but it was impossible if i didn't find the way to arrange my body properly.
so with the purpose of wearing my pumps, i decided on padding al my body and etc, so i could wear my pumps and go for a long walk in front of everybody, it was so awkward to me, in order to wear my favorite shoes i needed to make a big circus with my appearance, then i got a nice look after too much effort and experiments.
i went out to downtown where are located the restaurants bars etc, but i decided to park in a little far place from the crowds, i decided to get out my car and walk, it was so so hard to do that there were many people passing by the car that could see my face but never stared since i think my wig and makeup were showing well, but the most important thing to me was the whole me and of course the walking technique, i got the guts to get out the car and start heeling,,,,, wow i was doing it for real wearing my pumps, it was so easy and my walk was so smooth and with a good speed, everything was OK i passed two couples and said nothing didn't pay much attention on me, but the third couple pass vy and the girl said "whats that" her boyfriend said "no f...g idea, a freak, wearing lady's shoes" and they stared at me like if i were mickeymouse, i felt very miserable and got very discouraged to do that again, after that moment i just went back to my car i left sad, mad, etc, but i thought that it was totally normal for stupid people, i decided to quit for a while
until October i got again the need to wear my shoes so i went back to get my gear`and best `shoes and try them on an on again going to my favorite quiet places at night, parking and walking for hours in the parking lot and leaving, then i thought to go again out in public but i thought that the best place would be a party for fetish fans, and i decided to attend, this one was in Austin tx, so i decided to buy my airplane ticket go over there and attend, since it was a prehalloween party i decided to go as a vampire queen, and got my make up and all kind of things to be well dressed, in this event i was planning to wear my tight high boots, in black patent with a 5.5 inch heel, ... your are not going to believe what happen to me..... i dressed perfectly in my hotel, i was ready one hour prior the party to start, and got in my car heeled and dressed up, i looked for a convenient parking space, close to the lounge, and i found it, but at`the time of getting`out `the car...the most difficult thing `ever..... , i decided to remove my boots, wear a pair of snickers and put my boots inside a back pack and go insi8de the party and once there change my shoes, well i went as planned inside the place and got surprised that i was the guy most over dressed of the place since it was early, and my disguise was not really something, i decided to sit somewhere where i could have a great view of the place and see the shows that were taking place for that `night,, i started to see all the girls wearing super sexy and with those high heels and boots etc, everybody loved the high heels on them but no guy was wearing any kind of crazy stuff and even less some kind of heels or boots etc, i felt i was failing to my plan.
the whole night went fast `the shows were amazing and i couldn't wear my shoes, i felt so bad again, mission incomplete. failed
it happened and i got to go back to my city and deal with my heeling moments.
i got a good lesson here, " as much as we prepare a heeling `time and being so passionate to wear our heels in public, if we are not confident on us wearing them in public is not going to happen even in a fetish party, " by experience.
...my lack of motivation during October was terrible because even in Halloween night i didn't had the guts to go out dressed and wearing even a 2incch hh shoes, i quit for one month until today.
the responses were:
Sounds like one heck of a lot of trouble and discouraging attempts to be yourself and just to wear a pair of shoes. Don't mean to burst your bubble but... Why don't you just get a pair of flared jeans, heels and go anywhere you want? REALLY, nobody cares, and so what if they do. Your not hurting anybody.
by johnieheel
Heeling in public is a mind game but with this game you get to make up the rules and you get to change the rules anytime you want to. Another nice thing about this game is that you get to decide when you have won. Depending on the rules you adopt, the game can be very easy to play or extremely difficult.
As you play the game, you learn about the other folks that are also playing their own games. The major common thread in all the games people play is idea of controlling how the other players see us. For some the goal is to be perceived as a tough guy/gal, or a nice guy/gal, or a good guy/gal, or … the list is endless, and whether its guy or gal has nothing to do with your gender. You get to decide on the image you want to project.
The steps in playing this game are fairly simple; decide on an image you want to project (and make sure you get it in your mind), then go out and try to project that image. The good players spend a lot of time on the first step. The second step is often dependant on the mental tools with which you are equipped. For some, just being in public is terrifying, and for others it is the most natural activity imaginable. The second step is often referred to as “having confidence”. The less confidence you have, the more important the first step becomes. As you get better at the first step, the second one becomes easier.
Another nice feature of this game is that you don’t have to play the same game all the time. If you tire of one game, you can play another. Eventually you will discover a game you enjoy.
For me, one game is wearing thigh boots with stiletto heels as a guy, another one is wearing skirts as a guy. Others on this board play similar games but have additional rules about “looking good” while playing their game. Still others play their game of wearing heels but in a manner that no one can see them, and some play their game in gal mode.
One last note, everyone plays this game and most players are so wrapped up in their play that they don’t notice the game others are playing. If your game intrudes on the other player’s game space, the other player may become offended. However, if you play your game in a polite manner, no one will notice, or care what you are playing.
by thighbootguy
Your first mistake was not having confidence to be yourself and act like you belong in heels. It was inevitable that your entire experience was downhill after that, and it's no surprise to me that the couple you encountered described you as a freak.
Trust us, nobody gives a damn about a guy in heels. They do give a damn about a guy in heels trying to look inconspicuous.
by Sandalfan
Indeed, nothing more suspicious than somebody "trying" to look inconspicuous, like they have something to hide....
by Tech
All of us have and had similar feelings and experiences while enjoying time heeling in our favorite heels. The secret walks under the cover of dark or on the hidden paths and trails in a city park way and/or neighborhood sidewalks. Then we want more acceptance for who we are, so we try venturing into public venues in some sort of disguise so that we won't be recognized. The problem is that we don't feel comfortable with our costume because it is further from our normal attire we are use to in public. The heels are already a matter of our focus, but adding other items that we are unfamiliar with for a normal situation is almost too much to bear. I can expect others to note a male in heels as abnormal in our society, but a male trying to appear more feminine than society has been use to, invites or attracts situations for embarrassment.
Finding our goal for heeling should help in what we should be dress like. Is being a male in heels our intent or is appearing as a femininely dressed male more to the goal being sought. It is your choice, but you have to realize the consequences you'll have to deal with and be prepared to cope. Be the person you are. True friends will support you and admire your integrity. They may need time to get use to your idea of heeling. The end result will leave you with little to regret. If you are never who you are, you'll never know if you could have been accepted for who you are. It's your life, so enjoy it.
by histilleto
I agree with what johnieheel said. Thighbootguy is also right on the mark. Get heels you are comfortable with (high, low, block or stiletto) a pair of jeans and a shirt and jacket to complete your outfit and just go. Your anxiety level will decrease and your comfort and confidence will increase as you heel more.
by Phoenix
Some very sound advice offered here. Best solution...put on your heels, step out the door and go on your way taking care of your business. 85% won't notice....10% will notice but not react. 2½% will smile and, perhaps, whisper something behind their hand and the other 2½% will giggle, laugh or say something rude. SO WHAT! You'll probably never see these guys again....Take a read of HealFeat, JeffB, Jonieheels, TBG, Xa, and many of our other members. Dress well, put on your heels, look confident and ge on with it....FORGET THE COSTUME STUFF.....you probably make a worse looking woman than you'd are as just being a man wearing heels.
by Bubba
Bubba, very sound advice, although your percentages may be a bit off, depending upon neighborhood, area, etc. Most people I believe DO notice but don't do anything about it as they have their own stuff to take care of. Only a very small number of complete idiots would either annoy one verbally or otherwise.
In my humble opinion, people do notice "odd things," and my wife and I are very much people that do. But other than us noticing the unusual and mentioning it to each other, we just go our way. I have no doubt whatsoever that if my wife was alone and saw a guy in heels, she would mention it to me as the topic of the day. That being said, people will talk and make observations, but morpho, you and anyone else in this world are entitled to live your live the way you want, wear what you want, when you want and that is all there is to it!
I am a heeler whenever I have the opportunity, but I certainly would not do it at work, in my neighborhood (except late at night) nor in front of my friends and acquaintances. But except for that, my heeling is wide open!
Life is long, go and enjoy what you like!!
by bootking
Let's not get to technical. In general, let's just say a great big) that "MOST PEOPLE JUST DON'T GIVE A F**K" anyway. Put them on and get on with it.......
by bubba
morpho: First, foremost and ALWAYS, having confidence when venturing out in public while wearing women's shoes is absolutely, positively crucial! I can't state that enough! Without confidence, without that air of mild arrogance that comes from not caring how people perceive you, you'll always attract more notice from the public than you want because people pick up on the hints and clues you give off by your body language, by the expression on your face and, in your case, how you were dressed and instinctively wonder what's wrong with this picture, and wonder just what the deal is with you. That, is attention you do not want under any circumstances.
You have to act bold, like you belong in whatever environment you happen to be in, you have to give clues that tells the world at large the following: "This is who I am, deal with it!" There was no need to have gone to the extremes that you did on your outing, just grab your heels, pair them with jeans, or dress pants, a nice shirt and go, simple as that. No need to reinvent the wheel, dress to blend in with your surroundings, don't try to stand out like a sore thumb, that way, as the old saying goes, lies madness. Sure, people WILL notice a guy in heels, that's unavoidable, fortunately, 99% percent of the people you encounter have manners and not confront you directly about what you're wearing, what's more, those that do notice are often too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to give a damn about you, unless you've dressed in a way that attracts unwanted attention.
But again, it all comes back to confidence. You have to have it in order to be a successful freestyler. Without it, failure is the end result. Plain and simple.
by Jeffb
On December 2009
Finally one day i got a very strong desire to wear my outfit but most important my ht boots in public, i wanted to make a different game as thighbootguy explains in his response on my thread copied above. My game was to dress and look like a beautiful woman, without being to long on the details I went for doing a professional make up and a careful body padding, the transformation took about 3 hours and i have to say it was fun and a good experience, it made me value the girls that everyday go to work in a impeccable look and makeup not to mention their attire and taste. It is hard to reproduce in our self.
SO i went for a walk to my already described favorite places, malls, offices , parking lots etc, and i decided to go to the downtown area and walk the main street, it was raining so i could hide a little under the umbrella and i was wearing also i long coat to hide my shoulders and chest, but my legs were well exposed, i had the guts to shave my legs and use a shiny silky naked hose with 5 of my favorite shoes and boots at a time, i walk for 5 hours up and down around etc, took stairs, walk over the lawn, over the closed lobby areas of the old buildings, across the transited street, ran away from approaching groups of people etc,i had a nice experience.
I felt like i was playing a game and never felt as a woman, that was the best because i never wanted to accept to see if my hobbie was a starting desire to feel the opposite sex, that is concluded and im sure about my self now, it is just a game, as explained by thighbootguy, and i thank him so much for his message which i find very very encouraging, helpful etc,
Next after it went a little dark and my calf were hurting like hell, I went again on my car i drove to the most visited mall in the area, i walk the parking lot with a bag like if i shopped and went around and across the parking lanes, very fun, the people looking for a spot were trying to see me because my legs were very exposed and also because i was wearing very sexy high heels and walking so fast, i have to say that my legs a thinner than normal and very toned depending what i am wearing so i felt really that some drivers either men and women were seduce by them, hahaha,
The third destination on that day, was an office building that has a bank and a motor bank, which i didn't noticed, i went for a walk around the building in the garden etc, because no one was there and it was late i felt like going back to my car go home or go to a drive thru for something to eat enfemme etc, I look at the reflexion of the huge windows of that building and i found that my shape was really passing as a very attractive woman, and my makeup was well done so the face was also passing. i took out the coat for that moment and went only with a mini dress and a tight sweater, full legs exposed and a 5inch thigh high heels very fitted to my legs were very noticeable, i decided to go to y car after some minutes i felt i had to go, weird feeling, exactly when i started the engine of my car suddenly 2 patrols came inside the parking lot and stopped nearby the bank i went frozen and kept going out to the high way like if nothing was going on i even waited for clear on my way to get in the service lane, but i was panicking for nothing, only making stories on my head about what if the officers ask me to step out from my car, i was in a very tiny dress and high thigh book black patent 5 inch high, and my wig and make up etc, hard to explain what i was doing there since the office building was supposed to be closed and is a private property, i panicked because i saw the patrols coming so fast and looking for someone , like if the guard or an alarm was set, i also thought , what if the guard was always watching me since day 1 walking enfemme there and today he decided to call the cops on me since i was really walking for long time there. maybe suspicious. i will never know, but what i know is that i could get out from there slowly and get into another parking lot which was busy and many other people were around so i parked my car there and took of all my attire and my make up so i could go as normal and could go back home.
when i came back home i was so excited because i dare to do to many things that i really wanted to do since long time ago.
On 1010
April
I moved out to another city, I like much my new home, but since i am not going to be able to go out in the way i started to do it at least for some months i will try to meet people in the nearby area in order to have some cd meets and try to go in a group maybe with some new friends with same atractions to heels.
I have not try even once a high heel shoes since december, i may try to do it probably next week as i left my colection at my original home, I have bought a new pair of 4.5 inch high coned pointy black silky open shoe with a back zipper very sexy, but still not have a chance to wear it since there is no much oportunity to do so.
On October 30th 2008,
Halloween night, in many threads that were in TV threads not active anymore i had my first experience in public, I call it "in public" because there were other people around me and for the first time in my life someone else besides me and my mirror, were able to see me in heels and in a complete outfit.
How it happened?
Days before Halloween night, i was sent to a biz trip and exactly on Halloween night i will be back to Austin Texas were I spent all my college and many many years and i have many friends there as well, I was planning on seeing some of my old palls but at the same time don't miss the great parade and great party at the famous sixth street in downtown, since
Austin is very open minded and liberal i felt it is time to do it now since there most be many people that wont be expecting me to be in town.
Then on Halloween night i found my self dressing up and selecting among 6 pairs of boot to wear , my choices were between
a black patent 5inch high boot,
a pair of red 6in w platform high boot,
a 4inch leather knee high boot,
a pair of beige 3.5inch mini boots in leather,
a pair of white high boot with straps all over in a 5inch h heel,
and finally a pair of brown crock leather 5 inch needle heel very pointed knee h boots.
i selected the black patent high boots because were larger and i could spent much more time without my toes hurting, but in a way my choice was not the best one, because is a 5.5 inch high actually and also the cushion of the insoles were not very good, so i spent the rest of the week with a big big pain a a callus on both feet.
the night was amazing, everybody at the bar were so interested in how i could walk with those shoes and even girls that normally are more used to me to wear heels were very impressed and one cute girls asked me to let her wear my boots for a while, it was fun, he could walk on them since she wears a 6 and me was wearing a 12 ...funny
I had to take a taxi for going to downtown since normally there is no parking space and normally i was specting to Finnish very drunk, which it happens, ...
when the taxi drop me some block away from the club i had to walk with my outfit and everybody stared at me like what is this guy impersonating? well it was Halloween, so i was playing all around with the people that wanted to take pics and make jokes etc, it was great,
the moment i went inside the club i was very unsure i saw many guys wearing heels as well so i felt more confident as these folks were arriving to the place,
the only thing that, made feel awkward was that there were some guys that were attracted to me and my shoes, and me being straight and not knowing how to handle a misunderstanding like that without being rude or unfriendly, i did my best in being friendly and it worked but i feel that there were guys thinking that i gave them game, anyway, it was a great experience.
Another person attracted to my heels was a cute Japanese girls that just wanted to take a pic with me, and asked me q such as how long did i being wearing hh and telling me that she finds very sexy on a guy to wear heels from time to time, she knew i am straight she told me it shows, which it doesn't has to do with the fact of wearing or not wearing but with the fact that i was completely dressed in femme and w the highest heels ever in that club.
MAY09
ANOTHER time "HEELING IN SEX SHOPS":
I have been planning to go outin heels since October 08, and it happened last month, here in NYC, i went to a sex shop dressed as an executive woman but wearing a 5inch high heel leather knee boot the first time for maybe 20 minutes, i returned the week after and i wear a pair of 4.5inch high black patent pointy pumps, i think that that day i was dressed too much for the customers that were coming in to the shop, because my skirt was too short and the hose was too shiny. I felt that one guy was following me and wanted to start some kind of conversation, i freaked out and left.
the third time was one week after, i dressed with a less short skirt and wear my pointy 5inch knee high black leather boots, it was nice i spent like an hour until my feet started to ask me to sit, i just left.
The fourth time was also great it happened the day after and i realized that going out in heels is an amazing experience, is difficult and you cannot predict what will happen or what the people are going to tell you, or their reaction etc,
August 2009
WALKING IN THE COMMERCIAL CENTERS AT NIGHT
I had being going very often dressed in fem me and wearing my stilettos all around the suburbs and wanted to find a place where i can walk without people around which is very difficult to find, and when i find one i freak out and decide to leave,
Last night i drove by a commercial center which was closed and there were some cars passing around and i decided to park for some minutes meanwhile i was eating a burger to go, I studied the behavior of the street and how the people that pass by react at people walking on the sidewalk, but in the commercial center nobody stops neither goes in because is closed, so i decided to go out and do some turns, i walk for around 15 min in one that the reflectors were so high and nobody saw me, but i saw cars driving by without noticing me,
then i went to other sites, the number of commercial centers i walk were 5 yesterday night, it was an accomplishment, i felt great, i couldn't sleep, because i was thinking what to wear the next time. of course my pumps were the best walker of last nigh, they are very confi and the 4.5 in high heel is easy to to walk, or run if i need to leave fast.
LESSON 2
The more i walk in open spaces without people around the more i get stimulated to walk with people around.
I don't know but at the same i don't really dare to let others seeing me in heels but at the same time i feel i want to expose in public and know reactions. Maybe next time i will really go to a public area and walk by hoping nobody that i know will be there and recognize me.
Some Experiences
Last year i had these experiences and shared them on a thread but unfortunately it was deleted since maybe is detouring the objective of our community, but I thing is something to share also indeed what i am posting is my development as a heeler.
hello to all
it has been a long time i posted something, the reason was that i got discouraged on trying to go out and about and the heeling started to be boring inside my home, so i needed to do something.
first i started on July to September to go out driving in heels and from time to time, parking in a lonely place and go for a quick walk, i started to do that mostly at nights, and the emotions were too strong and i have to say that i got fun doing that, sometimes i got to take long walks in the street inside a commercial center always being close to my car in case somebody approach, i cant remember how many times i got to get in the car quickly product of my fear of being seen,
after i started to find more quiet and lonely places where to walk i felt there was something missing, besides just wearing my nylons and my 5 inch black leather boots, i felt i needed to jump to another level, 'public' meaning being exposed to the people, for that i needed to hide my identity , so i started to go out dressed completely as a woman, but there was a problem, at the reflection of the big windows of the locals i found my self without the proper feminine shape, which was like a red light for the people to stare at me or to try to id the tv that is walking over there etc,
i wanted to use my black pumps with pantyhose and a short dress, but it was impossible if i didn't find the way to arrange my body properly.
so with the purpose of wearing my pumps, i decided on padding al my body and etc, so i could wear my pumps and go for a long walk in front of everybody, it was so awkward to me, in order to wear my favorite shoes i needed to make a big circus with my appearance, then i got a nice look after too much effort and experiments.
i went out to downtown where are located the restaurants bars etc, but i decided to park in a little far place from the crowds, i decided to get out my car and walk, it was so so hard to do that there were many people passing by the car that could see my face but never stared since i think my wig and makeup were showing well, but the most important thing to me was the whole me and of course the walking technique, i got the guts to get out the car and start heeling,,,,, wow i was doing it for real wearing my pumps, it was so easy and my walk was so smooth and with a good speed, everything was OK i passed two couples and said nothing didn't pay much attention on me, but the third couple pass vy and the girl said "whats that" her boyfriend said "no f...g idea, a freak, wearing lady's shoes" and they stared at me like if i were mickeymouse, i felt very miserable and got very discouraged to do that again, after that moment i just went back to my car i left sad, mad, etc, but i thought that it was totally normal for stupid people, i decided to quit for a while
until October i got again the need to wear my shoes so i went back to get my gear`and best `shoes and try them on an on again going to my favorite quiet places at night, parking and walking for hours in the parking lot and leaving, then i thought to go again out in public but i thought that the best place would be a party for fetish fans, and i decided to attend, this one was in Austin tx, so i decided to buy my airplane ticket go over there and attend, since it was a prehalloween party i decided to go as a vampire queen, and got my make up and all kind of things to be well dressed, in this event i was planning to wear my tight high boots, in black patent with a 5.5 inch heel, ... your are not going to believe what happen to me..... i dressed perfectly in my hotel, i was ready one hour prior the party to start, and got in my car heeled and dressed up, i looked for a convenient parking space, close to the lounge, and i found it, but at`the time of getting`out `the car...the most difficult thing `ever..... , i decided to remove my boots, wear a pair of snickers and put my boots inside a back pack and go insi8de the party and once there change my shoes, well i went as planned inside the place and got surprised that i was the guy most over dressed of the place since it was early, and my disguise was not really something, i decided to sit somewhere where i could have a great view of the place and see the shows that were taking place for that `night,, i started to see all the girls wearing super sexy and with those high heels and boots etc, everybody loved the high heels on them but no guy was wearing any kind of crazy stuff and even less some kind of heels or boots etc, i felt i was failing to my plan.
the whole night went fast `the shows were amazing and i couldn't wear my shoes, i felt so bad again, mission incomplete. failed
it happened and i got to go back to my city and deal with my heeling moments.
i got a good lesson here, " as much as we prepare a heeling `time and being so passionate to wear our heels in public, if we are not confident on us wearing them in public is not going to happen even in a fetish party, " by experience.
...my lack of motivation during October was terrible because even in Halloween night i didn't had the guts to go out dressed and wearing even a 2incch hh shoes, i quit for one month until today.
the responses were:
Sounds like one heck of a lot of trouble and discouraging attempts to be yourself and just to wear a pair of shoes. Don't mean to burst your bubble but... Why don't you just get a pair of flared jeans, heels and go anywhere you want? REALLY, nobody cares, and so what if they do. Your not hurting anybody.
by johnieheel
Heeling in public is a mind game but with this game you get to make up the rules and you get to change the rules anytime you want to. Another nice thing about this game is that you get to decide when you have won. Depending on the rules you adopt, the game can be very easy to play or extremely difficult.
As you play the game, you learn about the other folks that are also playing their own games. The major common thread in all the games people play is idea of controlling how the other players see us. For some the goal is to be perceived as a tough guy/gal, or a nice guy/gal, or a good guy/gal, or … the list is endless, and whether its guy or gal has nothing to do with your gender. You get to decide on the image you want to project.
The steps in playing this game are fairly simple; decide on an image you want to project (and make sure you get it in your mind), then go out and try to project that image. The good players spend a lot of time on the first step. The second step is often dependant on the mental tools with which you are equipped. For some, just being in public is terrifying, and for others it is the most natural activity imaginable. The second step is often referred to as “having confidence”. The less confidence you have, the more important the first step becomes. As you get better at the first step, the second one becomes easier.
Another nice feature of this game is that you don’t have to play the same game all the time. If you tire of one game, you can play another. Eventually you will discover a game you enjoy.
For me, one game is wearing thigh boots with stiletto heels as a guy, another one is wearing skirts as a guy. Others on this board play similar games but have additional rules about “looking good” while playing their game. Still others play their game of wearing heels but in a manner that no one can see them, and some play their game in gal mode.
One last note, everyone plays this game and most players are so wrapped up in their play that they don’t notice the game others are playing. If your game intrudes on the other player’s game space, the other player may become offended. However, if you play your game in a polite manner, no one will notice, or care what you are playing.
by thighbootguy
Your first mistake was not having confidence to be yourself and act like you belong in heels. It was inevitable that your entire experience was downhill after that, and it's no surprise to me that the couple you encountered described you as a freak.
Trust us, nobody gives a damn about a guy in heels. They do give a damn about a guy in heels trying to look inconspicuous.
by Sandalfan
Indeed, nothing more suspicious than somebody "trying" to look inconspicuous, like they have something to hide....
by Tech
All of us have and had similar feelings and experiences while enjoying time heeling in our favorite heels. The secret walks under the cover of dark or on the hidden paths and trails in a city park way and/or neighborhood sidewalks. Then we want more acceptance for who we are, so we try venturing into public venues in some sort of disguise so that we won't be recognized. The problem is that we don't feel comfortable with our costume because it is further from our normal attire we are use to in public. The heels are already a matter of our focus, but adding other items that we are unfamiliar with for a normal situation is almost too much to bear. I can expect others to note a male in heels as abnormal in our society, but a male trying to appear more feminine than society has been use to, invites or attracts situations for embarrassment.
Finding our goal for heeling should help in what we should be dress like. Is being a male in heels our intent or is appearing as a femininely dressed male more to the goal being sought. It is your choice, but you have to realize the consequences you'll have to deal with and be prepared to cope. Be the person you are. True friends will support you and admire your integrity. They may need time to get use to your idea of heeling. The end result will leave you with little to regret. If you are never who you are, you'll never know if you could have been accepted for who you are. It's your life, so enjoy it.
by histilleto
I agree with what johnieheel said. Thighbootguy is also right on the mark. Get heels you are comfortable with (high, low, block or stiletto) a pair of jeans and a shirt and jacket to complete your outfit and just go. Your anxiety level will decrease and your comfort and confidence will increase as you heel more.
by Phoenix
Some very sound advice offered here. Best solution...put on your heels, step out the door and go on your way taking care of your business. 85% won't notice....10% will notice but not react. 2½% will smile and, perhaps, whisper something behind their hand and the other 2½% will giggle, laugh or say something rude. SO WHAT! You'll probably never see these guys again....Take a read of HealFeat, JeffB, Jonieheels, TBG, Xa, and many of our other members. Dress well, put on your heels, look confident and ge on with it....FORGET THE COSTUME STUFF.....you probably make a worse looking woman than you'd are as just being a man wearing heels.
by Bubba
Bubba, very sound advice, although your percentages may be a bit off, depending upon neighborhood, area, etc. Most people I believe DO notice but don't do anything about it as they have their own stuff to take care of. Only a very small number of complete idiots would either annoy one verbally or otherwise.
In my humble opinion, people do notice "odd things," and my wife and I are very much people that do. But other than us noticing the unusual and mentioning it to each other, we just go our way. I have no doubt whatsoever that if my wife was alone and saw a guy in heels, she would mention it to me as the topic of the day. That being said, people will talk and make observations, but morpho, you and anyone else in this world are entitled to live your live the way you want, wear what you want, when you want and that is all there is to it!
I am a heeler whenever I have the opportunity, but I certainly would not do it at work, in my neighborhood (except late at night) nor in front of my friends and acquaintances. But except for that, my heeling is wide open!
Life is long, go and enjoy what you like!!
by bootking
Let's not get to technical. In general, let's just say a great big) that "MOST PEOPLE JUST DON'T GIVE A F**K" anyway. Put them on and get on with it.......
by bubba
morpho: First, foremost and ALWAYS, having confidence when venturing out in public while wearing women's shoes is absolutely, positively crucial! I can't state that enough! Without confidence, without that air of mild arrogance that comes from not caring how people perceive you, you'll always attract more notice from the public than you want because people pick up on the hints and clues you give off by your body language, by the expression on your face and, in your case, how you were dressed and instinctively wonder what's wrong with this picture, and wonder just what the deal is with you. That, is attention you do not want under any circumstances.
You have to act bold, like you belong in whatever environment you happen to be in, you have to give clues that tells the world at large the following: "This is who I am, deal with it!" There was no need to have gone to the extremes that you did on your outing, just grab your heels, pair them with jeans, or dress pants, a nice shirt and go, simple as that. No need to reinvent the wheel, dress to blend in with your surroundings, don't try to stand out like a sore thumb, that way, as the old saying goes, lies madness. Sure, people WILL notice a guy in heels, that's unavoidable, fortunately, 99% percent of the people you encounter have manners and not confront you directly about what you're wearing, what's more, those that do notice are often too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to give a damn about you, unless you've dressed in a way that attracts unwanted attention.
But again, it all comes back to confidence. You have to have it in order to be a successful freestyler. Without it, failure is the end result. Plain and simple.
by Jeffb
On December 2009
Finally one day i got a very strong desire to wear my outfit but most important my ht boots in public, i wanted to make a different game as thighbootguy explains in his response on my thread copied above. My game was to dress and look like a beautiful woman, without being to long on the details I went for doing a professional make up and a careful body padding, the transformation took about 3 hours and i have to say it was fun and a good experience, it made me value the girls that everyday go to work in a impeccable look and makeup not to mention their attire and taste. It is hard to reproduce in our self.
SO i went for a walk to my already described favorite places, malls, offices , parking lots etc, and i decided to go to the downtown area and walk the main street, it was raining so i could hide a little under the umbrella and i was wearing also i long coat to hide my shoulders and chest, but my legs were well exposed, i had the guts to shave my legs and use a shiny silky naked hose with 5 of my favorite shoes and boots at a time, i walk for 5 hours up and down around etc, took stairs, walk over the lawn, over the closed lobby areas of the old buildings, across the transited street, ran away from approaching groups of people etc,i had a nice experience.
I felt like i was playing a game and never felt as a woman, that was the best because i never wanted to accept to see if my hobbie was a starting desire to feel the opposite sex, that is concluded and im sure about my self now, it is just a game, as explained by thighbootguy, and i thank him so much for his message which i find very very encouraging, helpful etc,
Next after it went a little dark and my calf were hurting like hell, I went again on my car i drove to the most visited mall in the area, i walk the parking lot with a bag like if i shopped and went around and across the parking lanes, very fun, the people looking for a spot were trying to see me because my legs were very exposed and also because i was wearing very sexy high heels and walking so fast, i have to say that my legs a thinner than normal and very toned depending what i am wearing so i felt really that some drivers either men and women were seduce by them, hahaha,
The third destination on that day, was an office building that has a bank and a motor bank, which i didn't noticed, i went for a walk around the building in the garden etc, because no one was there and it was late i felt like going back to my car go home or go to a drive thru for something to eat enfemme etc, I look at the reflexion of the huge windows of that building and i found that my shape was really passing as a very attractive woman, and my makeup was well done so the face was also passing. i took out the coat for that moment and went only with a mini dress and a tight sweater, full legs exposed and a 5inch thigh high heels very fitted to my legs were very noticeable, i decided to go to y car after some minutes i felt i had to go, weird feeling, exactly when i started the engine of my car suddenly 2 patrols came inside the parking lot and stopped nearby the bank i went frozen and kept going out to the high way like if nothing was going on i even waited for clear on my way to get in the service lane, but i was panicking for nothing, only making stories on my head about what if the officers ask me to step out from my car, i was in a very tiny dress and high thigh book black patent 5 inch high, and my wig and make up etc, hard to explain what i was doing there since the office building was supposed to be closed and is a private property, i panicked because i saw the patrols coming so fast and looking for someone , like if the guard or an alarm was set, i also thought , what if the guard was always watching me since day 1 walking enfemme there and today he decided to call the cops on me since i was really walking for long time there. maybe suspicious. i will never know, but what i know is that i could get out from there slowly and get into another parking lot which was busy and many other people were around so i parked my car there and took of all my attire and my make up so i could go as normal and could go back home.
when i came back home i was so excited because i dare to do to many things that i really wanted to do since long time ago.
On 1010
April
I moved out to another city, I like much my new home, but since i am not going to be able to go out in the way i started to do it at least for some months i will try to meet people in the nearby area in order to have some cd meets and try to go in a group maybe with some new friends with same atractions to heels.
I have not try even once a high heel shoes since december, i may try to do it probably next week as i left my colection at my original home, I have bought a new pair of 4.5 inch high coned pointy black silky open shoe with a back zipper very sexy, but still not have a chance to wear it since there is no much oportunity to do so.
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